In the United States, the month of May is known as Mental Health Awareness Month. It’s purpose, as stated in the name, is to spread awareness of the various mental health issues and diseases that affect many Americans. During the month, screenings and open talk about mental health are also promoted.

To me, May is more than just Mental Health Awareness Month, it is also my birth month. To me, when I think of May, I think of patiently waiting for the seventeenth day to arrive so I could eat cake and open presents. As I’ve gotten older, however, and especially this year, I have come to realize how important it is to me that May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

According to a 2014 study by National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), anxiety disorders affect 40 million adults in the United States, which is roughly 18 percent of the population. This makes anxiety disorders the most common mental illness in the U.S. This NIMH study also concluded that 15.6 million adults in the U.S. had experienced at least one depressive episode the past year.

These statistics seemed low to me, but I realize that may be because I live in a community that is very open about mental health. Where I live now, my friends are open about their issues and have obliterated any stigma there is about metal health. However, I feel like that wasn't always the case with my life. I grew in a small town in Central Wisconsin and had two loving parents and a good group of friends. Not to say there weren't bad times, but I was lucky to have such a good upbringing. Though I had a generally good life, I also realize now that it wasn't as open as the life as I have now. I recently have been diagnosed with anxiety and suffer from depression. To some, this diagnosis would be like a ton of bricks hitting them in the face, and it was for me. But now, I see it as a weight off my shoulders.

For years, I had been feeling weird and just not myself. I could never pinpoint exactly what it was. As I entered my senior year of high school, things started to deteriorate in my life. I rarely showed up to school and I was even physically sick. Though I had these issues, I didn't really bring them up to anyone. I drudged along and graduated, then moved to Milwaukee for college. My freshmen year of college was honestly a great year. I never realized how independent of a person I was until I left and was able to live on my own. I had a few issues that year, but again I didn't feel the need to make a big deal out of it or talk to anyone.

This year, my sophomore year, was another story however. Again, I couldn't pinpoint what was off with me, but I knew something was even more different than before. I wouldn't allow people to touch me, I was angry a lot of the time and I would have panic attacks in crowded rooms. However, though this year was difficult, I was lucky too. I had people around me who also shared similar issues and were open with me about their problems. This allowed me to open up, not only to them, but to a professional as well.

Going to a therapist and then a psychiatrist was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I had never really talked to many people about my issues. At times I would share, but in general I was closed off. Not just that, but I also felt that my issues were not worth another person's time. I don't feel that I was necessarily raised not to talk about my problems, but I think it had been my natural instinct to not want to make a big deal of anything. If I could go back in time to tell myself one thing, I would go back to the first moment I considered taking my life, and tell myself that my mental health would never be a big deal to the people who care about me.

I realize all of this now and I am truly better for it. I understand that I do have people that care about me and I am able to open up to them. If you don't think you have that, I suggest reaching out to any kind of therapy or helpline that is available to you. They can help you do the most important thing, which is caring about yourself.

Life is a precious thing, though at times it is the most painful experiences. For me, it took almost taking my own life to realize that people, and even I, am truly something special. The human race has the power to think for itself, love, learn and create, which is something no other being can do.

Sometimes we are dealt a bad card in life and don't have good, caring people that surround us. I was lucky enough to have that, but when I didn't think I had that, I found solace in the ability to create. I drew into a journal and added to that drawing every time I felt angry, or sad, or unmotivated or that life wasn't worth living. It took me a year to finish the drawing. A year of pain that created this one beautiful thing.

I believe in the healing power of creating, and drawing got me through the hard times. If you can't draw, sing. If you can't sing, build. If you can't build, find another way to make beauty out of your pain. And if you think you can't create, you are wrong, because we all have the power to make someone laugh and create joy in someone's day. And, if I am honest, that it the best creation of all.

Whether you suffer from anxiety, depression or another mental issue, let May be a month where you realize that you are worth it. Take these 31 days to think about how you can get help if you need it, and how you can help others that you see going through the same thing you went through. Your disease or disorder is a part of you and there is nothing wrong with you because of it. You may have a few more obstacles to overcome than someone else, but you are no lesser than the person next to you.

For those who don't suffer from mental illness, use this month to educate yourselves. Anxiety is more than panic attacks and depression is more than sadness. Anxiety can be a fear of something that may seem minuscule to everyone else. Depression can be fatigue, lack of motivation or even anger. There are no set rules to these illnesses, so be understanding of the world and people around you. You never know what the person next to you has been through or is going through. Know that telling a person with anxiety "just don't worry about it" or telling a person with depression "happiness is a choice" or "think happy thoughts" won't do anything to help. Sometimes there is nothing you can say, but just being there for them to confide in is enough.

At the end of the day, we are all human. We have been through different experiences and faced different challenges, but no one is worth more or less, because of what they've been through. Appreciate the good things that come your way and the happy days you have. It's May after all, and the weather is getting warmer and the flowers are in bloom. Get out and enjoy the beauty of the world.

Resources:

Anxiety and Depression Association of America - https://www.adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/ask-and-learn/resources

Norris Health Center at the University of Wisconsin Milwaukee - https://uwm.edu/norris/counseling/

Columbia St. Mary's - http://www.columbia-stmarys.org/Behavioral_Medicine

Nation Suicide Prevention Lifeline - https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Learn More:

Metal Health America -http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/may

National Alliance of Mental Health - https://www.nami.org/mentalhealthmonth