Matthew's Mailbag: Tennessee Football, Bigfoot, & Russian Missiles | The Odyssey Online
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Matthew's Mailbag: Tennessee Football, Bigfoot, & Russian Missiles

1st Edition

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Matthew's Mailbag: Tennessee Football, Bigfoot, & Russian Missiles
123rf/ Mailman

Wow, thanks for some great questions (mostly idiotic ones that people thought I wouldn't answer)! I chose to not include a few because of the graphic language; I'm not quite up to Clay Travis' level yet (http://www.foxsports.com/college-football/outkick-...). Here we go, first in Matthew's Mailbag:

"My girlfriend wants to have a baby and I don't want to. What should I do?"

I would reconsider why you are in the relationship you are in. Ask yourself, "what are the pros and cons of having a baby?" I wouldn't try to talk her out of it because they sound like a good start to a fight. But hey, if you plan on breaking up with her anyways over this then maybe that's a good choice.

"How many Krispy Kreme donuts can you eat?"

In one sitting? If I was really hungry, I could eat a dozen original glazed. I would definitely feel sick after if I did that, though. I think the most I've ever eaten at once is 6.

"I heard you were into Tennessee Football. What will their record be this year and will Jalen Hurd win the Heisman?"

As much as I'd like to say they'll be 15-0 National Champions, I'm more inclined to say they'll be in the 11-2 or 10-3 range. Not sure if we can get over the Alabama hump twice in one year to make the playoff. No, Jalen Hurd needs to be a guy getting 1st downs and easy TDs for us, not busting out big plays and creating a highlight reel, IMO.

"What should I name my next pet?"

Dog: Pluto

Cat: Karl

Other animals: Don't name it, just call it whatever it's common name is.

"A few weeks ago I thought I saw Bigfoot, but I'm kind of afraid to tell anyone. I told my wife and she doesn't believe me. She says I should lay off the hard drugs. Did I really see Bigfoot or should I quit doing drugs?"

I guess it really depends on where you saw Bigfoot. Were you in the forest somewhere or were you picking up munchies at the grocery store? It would be safe to say laying off the drugs could decrease your chances of seeing Bigfoot again.

"If Russia blows up the Moon, will everyone on Earth die?"

I'm not sure that everyone on Earth would die, however, coastal residents would be reconsidering their beach front homes. I wouldn't worry about Russia blowing up the Moon, I'd be more worried about this: http://beforeitsnews.com/beyond-science/2015/02/ru...


Please submit questions to mattproffitt@charter.net

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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