"What sport do you play?"
According to many people, a sport is something you must "play." It must involve a ball. You must be on a "team." You have a position, a jersey number, a head coach...
When I tell people I've spent the last 14 years of my life training in Tae Kwon Do, eyebrows are immediately raised. Typical responses include: "You must be a black belt!"; "I would hate to mess with you!"; or my least favorite, "Does this mean you can whoop my--?" (I'll let you guys fill in the blank on that one).
Despite the impressive remarks I receive when revealing my passion, martial arts does not appeal to many families that are in the process of deciding which activity to enroll their kids in. I hear deflections and misconceptions, like "What do we do when they get their black belt? They're pretty much done after that, right?" Or the occasional, "I'm not equipping my child with the means to hurt other people. Martial Arts can be extremely violent." Even worse, I see children enroll in martial arts and they're hooked only temporarily. Let's not forget about mom and dad, either. They're sold on the whole concept! They brag to everyone they know. They see how it emphasizes discipline, the importance of respecting your elders, doing well in school; the programs and services beyond the kicking and punching have parents drooling at instructors' feet...but then...a year later, they never come to take another class. Why? It's truly heart-breaking, especially from someone like myself, who wanted to walk away from martial arts so many times, not knowing where in the world I would have ended up if it wasn't for walking through the doors of my local Tae Kwon Do school. I remember watching students with natural talent and an incredible willingness to learn...their memory faded in an empty cubby-hole where their uniform used to be, a room where their laughter and yells could be heard, and the amazing conversations I used to have with their parents. You have the occasional awkward run-in with the family at the grocery store who divert their eyes from you because they don't want to make it personal. As an instructor, you only want the best for your students. You can say all you want that of course you didn't take it personally and that you understand why they walked away...but every instructor who reads this knows this is false. You absolutely take it personally. You ask yourself, what more could I have done? What was it that I did that convinced that family to walk out the door and not come back?
I think there are several reasons why the martial arts cannot seem to attract nor keep practitioners compared to other activities. Often times in martial arts, physical results are seen very slowly. Children (and some adults) quickly become either bored or overwhelmed, so they move on to the next best thing. I also know several people that see a black belt as a finish-line, when in actuality, it is everything but the end. Martial arts is not as glamorous as baseball or football, where parents seemingly obsess in the action and at times make it unbearably uncomfortable for the rest of us. You don't see the stickers on the back of the SUV, the window decals with your child's number, the washable paint markers with messages of good luck on your way to your next travel team tournament. No, I do not know of any martial arts students who received full-scholarships to universities after they were recruited for a collegiate martial arts programs. No, I don't know any martial arts students that can be seen on Sunday afternoons or Monday nights under the lights of the National Football League and I don't see martial artists hitting home runs to win the World Series. They aren't the most popular athletes of their school. If your child chooses martial arts, you wont see their name on the back of a jersey selling in department stores nationwide. You won't see their pictures on billboards. You won't see them running out of a tunnel in an arena with thousands upon thousands of people screaming their names.
What do I see, however? I see children and their parents growing and learning in an activity they can enjoy together. I see training that can take place year-round as martial arts has no "season." I see children who absolutely resented their parents at one point give them a hug and a kiss before they step into the Dojang. I hear students respond to adults with "Yes sir," and "No ma'am." I see parents wipe their tears as they watch their kids test for their next belt, amazed at the transformation. I see people accomplishing their goals. I see students that might struggle physically, but can now look others in the eye when speaking because of a tremendously boosted confidence. I see people become physically fit. I see my childhood classmates to my left and right, leading and instructing classes as the tables have turned. I see some of my biggest mentors and role models. I see people learn things that could actually save their lives or the lives of others one day. I see teamwork. I see courtesy. I see discipline. I see integrity. I see a support-system. I see family. Believe it or not, martial arts does not equip your child with the tools to become the next double-agent, killing machine (however, I know plenty of stunt-doubles in Hollywood thanks to martial arts training)!
As an instructor, I equip my students with knowledge that goes beyond kicking and punching. I teach common sense before self-defense. Want to avoid trouble? Walk home from the library after midnight with a group of friends instead of making the trip by yourself. Has the school's bully moved on from verbal taunts and is now shoving you around? Before you try a tornado kick to his face, find a teacher. Is there a kid in the cafeteria that usually sits alone during lunch? Pull up a chair. Did you know how important your parents are to your well-being? Do something nice for them several times a day. What are the only responses to any adult? That's right, yes-sir, no-sir, yes-ma'am and no-ma'am. These aren't just my teachings. These are the teachings that have been passed down from generation to generation, master to master, and are seen in martial arts schools all over the world. Above all, I want my students to leave class knowing that I love them like my family and that while this life may at times be cruel and unfair, you always are courteous to those around you, you always use integrity, you always persevere when the going gets tough, and you always conquer even the most trying bumps in the road with an indomitable spirit. There is "do" or "do not." In my book, there is no "try." Do other sports teach things like this as well? To a degree, yes...but unlike other sports, these values are the very foundation of this sport, and if you can't conform or aren't willing to abide by these values, then quite frankly, martial arts may not be for you.
So, while Tae Kwon Do, Karate, Jiu-Jitsu, or the dozens of other arts may not seem to be as appealing of an option to some of you, I hope at the least you consider the potential lifelong impacts it's had on parents and students alike...and if you're thinking about moving on to something else, understand that we all felt the same at one point. While like everything else, martial arts certainly has its' downfalls, but its' benefits can sometimes only be experienced in a life-long journey. My martial arts journey has been a whirlwind of several highs and several lows. However, there has been no experience in my life as difficult, yet rewarding as this one. King Tiger Tae Kwon Do has been a blessing in my life. It's built my character, provided me with resources after graduation, introduced me to friends and students that I consider family. It's given me mentors, countless aspirations outside of the Dojang and best of all, the chance to make a fundamental difference in the lives of people of all ages. I don't take it lightly and you shouldn't either. Try class...sign up...change your life.