When I got married a little more than a year ago, there seemed to be this negativity surrounding marriage I was suddenly introduced to. So many people told me to “wait until you both are more stable” or to “be careful because once you’re married, you don’t have time for you!” I would smile, thank them for their advice, and move on. I knew what I was doing was right and I didn’t want anyone to tell me otherwise. Yet the one comment I heard quite frequently both before and after we got married that frustrates me is “marriage is hard!” Call me young and naïve, but I disagree. Marriage isn’t hard. Marriage isn’t a prison you put yourself in. Marriage isn’t some ugly monster that comes to ruin your life. Marriage pulls people together.
I know you’re sitting there wanting to tell me that I’m wrong. How this that and the other have gone wrong. Many of you have experienced divorce, cheating, extreme sorrow, and many other emotions throughout the duration of your marriage and yet I’m telling you marriage isn’t hard. Well, it isn’t. Life is. Sin is. People aren’t always who we think they are. Pride is hard. Selfishness is hard. Lust, rudeness, and lying are all hard to deal with. Do these things hurt marriages? Of course! But they hurt any other relationship as well.
Marriage is the perfect ideal as it is selfless, kind, generous, loving, empowering, patient, binding, joyful, devotion, and ultimately exalting. Marriage is so much more than two people being bound together. Marriage is ordained of God and as such is designed to be good, not evil. Marriage always pulls two people together who love each other enough to want to be around one another. Marriage isn’t flawed.
Individuals, however, are flawed and imperfect. We are emotionally, intellectually, physically, mentally, and spiritually unstable and often unpredictable. This isn’t new news, though. We all know life is hard – and it’s supposed to be. Life isn’t supposed to be easy. We learn, we grow, we love, we fail, we repeat. We are always looking for the next best thing and answer to help us become better as a species and better individually. Marriage is often the answer overlooked.
Marriage has everything needed to calm our emotions, heal our hearts, and help us see ourselves positively at the end of the day. Marriage is having a permanent best friend, a new family, and in a lot of ways a chance to start over. It’s only when we fight what marriage is for, when we sin, when we allow the challenges of life to dominate do good things such as marriage appear damaged and difficult.
Maybe you really do think your marriage is hard. Maybe I have an elusive, naïve idea behind this union of two people. But when I think about it and look back on this past year and some months, to me, marriage isn't hard.