To My Male Coworkers With Aggressive Behavior, Every Woman Is Sick Of Your Ignorance

To My Male Coworkers With Aggressive Behavior, Every Woman Is Sick Of Your Ignorance

We earned our spots in the workplace just like you did, so if we could get some respect, it would be much appreciated.

Keleri
Keleri
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On Monday morning when I went to work, I found out that one of my male coworkers had said in a random conversation, "I can control any woman if I put my hands around her throat." While this sentence might be out of context, it certainly wasn't appropriate to be said in the workplace. At least half of my coworkers are female. And unfortunately, this isn't an isolated incident.

Over the past three years that I've worked there, I've seen instances like this over and over again with almost no retribution. After this particular incident, he got away with a warning to not say anything like it again. This wasn't the first time that he had said (or done) something in line with the statement. And after seeing this cycle over and over again, I have to say I'm really sick of it.

I'm sick and tired of the aggressive and hostile behavior in the workplace.

Yes, several of you are probably about a foot taller than me and could easily toss me if you wanted. But frankly, just because I'm smaller and a female doesn't give you an excuse to make these remarks around me. I don't care what the context was.

The coworker that said this to me has a daughter. I can't remember how old she is, but I know she's younger than me, and I feel awful for her. She's going to have to live with the toxicity that her dad spits out about women, and eventually, that might even change her own perspective of herself into something negative.

The thing is, even if your negativity isn't directed at me, it also kind of is. When you say these things at the workplace that you and I both share, it makes me, not to mention every other female that works there, feel pretty offended and hurt.

Because why would you even say something like that? Why would there be a need for you to say something like that?

Yes, we get paid to be there, so please don't make the workplace uncomfortable for us. At the end of the day, all I'm trying to do is sell burgers to hungry customers, and that can already be stressful enough without worrying about potential violence in the workplace.

I'm not sure if you guys realize this, but we've already lost so many employees because of your behavior. I can think of at least three people who have left just to get away from the environment you create for us.

It's not healthy, it's not productive, and it honestly makes the workplace miserable for everyone there.

I don't think I'm asking for a lot. I just want you guys to reconsider your thought process and maybe realize that we're just as valuable of employees as you are.

We earned our spots in the workplace just like you did, so if we could get some respect, it would be much appreciated.

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Don't Assume I'm Asking For Your Male Attention Because Of What I'm Wearing

The oversexualization of our bodies needs to stop.

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I am a woman in America.

You might ask, what is the significance of this piece of information? Well, quite frankly, I want to bring awareness to the fear we as women face due to our bodies constantly being over-sexualized in public spaces.

Often times, men love to chime in on our choices of clothing. Shorts are too short for their liking? They label us whores. Tank top is too tight? WHORE. Dress is too revealing? We must want them to notice us, right?

That's what many men think. They believe that we do everything in our power to gain their attention when that is almost never the case.

The sexualization of a person is defined in the following ways: When a person's value comes only from his or her sexual appeal or behavior, to the exclusion of other characteristics; When a person is held to a narrowly defined standard that equates physical attractiveness with being sexy; When a person is sexually objectified, made into a thing for others' sexual use, rather than seen as a person with the capacity for independent action and decision making; and/or when sexuality is inappropriately imposed on a person.

I write this all to ask, why is everything we do characterized by our sexual appeal in the eyes of men?

Just because I am wearing a tight dress doesn't mean I want you to look at me. It doesn't mean I want you to touch me, and it most definitely doesn't mean I want you to have sex with me.

There is so much danger in this new culture we find ourselves in. The way men oversexualize our bodies on a daily basis stunts our growth overall as women. It keeps us down, and it paves a way for men to stay at the top, controlling our minds, how we think about ourselves, and how we choose to live.

Can I not dress-up for myself? Can I not wear a full face of makeup without a man saying, "She's trying too hard"?

Why does everything we do have to equate to the amount of male attention we may or may not receive as a result?

This society has grown so incredibly ugly in this way, and it is one of the main reasons that there are so many things we as a society have to do before women are seen in the same light as men.

As women, we have a burden placed on our shoulders. Our bodies are seen as the property of men, allowing for them to feel as though they can infringe upon our rights, and sin against our bodies whenever they feel compelled to do so. This isn't our fault, but instead, it is the man's fault and failure to understand our worth.

Until men start realizing their misogynistic ways, we will never be able to move forward because a man must first recognize his wrongdoings before he can change them.

It is not okay for our bodies to be objectified in the eyes of men. It is not okay for our bodies to be oversexualized, and it is not okay for our worth to be defined by how much male attention we receive.

Somewhere, somehow, there is probably a man judging us based off of our appearance--whether that be our physical assets or our clothes, but us women can't keep letting these things stop us from living our lives the way we want to. Dress how you want, do what you want, and become the person you want to be. Male attention was never our objective, we as women just want to live without the fears that oversexualization brings.

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Components Of Being A Great Leader That Transfer To Everyday Life

There is so much more that goes into being a leader than what's on the surface

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Being a good leader isn't just about knowing how to lead others and boss them around. There are so many factors that go into being an effective leader and ultimately a good example to those who look up to you. All of the things that go into being a leader can also be applied to every other area in life.

There is so much more that goes into being a leader than what's on the surface. Psychology and neuroscience are two areas that don't seem like they would connect with leadership but ultimately do. There are many advantages to knowing people and studying the way they think and work. Neuroscience has a lot to do with change and the way that humans deal with it. Being a good leader and a good example includes being able to effectively initiate and deal with change. In order to do this, trust needs to be established as well.

In relation to change, there are many barriers, including fear and anxiety, that need to be taken into account. Change can make people feel isolated and alone and feel as though they have to give something up. The most difficult thing about change is that when the pressure to change is finally off, most people revert back to the way things were before. In order to effectively lead, those fears need to be diminished, and this is ultimately done through trust. In order to establish trust with those who are looking up to you, there needs to be a sense of vulnerability, honesty, authenticity, knowledge, skill and humility.

Another thing to keep in mind is that effective leaders aren't necessarily above those who they lead. Leaders are there to help a group of people deal with change and move along day-by-day. This includes effectively dealing with conflict and being able to emotionally connect to those around you. Constructive criticism is a thing, just as constructive conflict is. Learning how to constructively deal with conflict is a very useful tool in all areas of life, as conflict is unavoidable. By being able to transfer conflict into something constructive, conflicts can be dealt with in a better and more effective way and ultimately help build people up rather than tear them down.

Along with focusing on constructive conflict, having emotional intelligence is a very important attribute of a leader. Knowing how to deal with difficult situations where people have high emotions (such as being fired, or other things along those lines), requires a great deal of empathy. However, you also have to know how much or little emotion should go into a situation since sometimes the logical choice is better than the emotional one in the end.

All of these things are what make up a good leader, and they're all things that any one of us could implement into our own lives regardless of if we're an established leader or not. There is always someone who is looking up to us, whether it's a younger sibling, friend or co-worker, and all of these qualities would be worth the time to improve and work on.

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