I was reading an article the other day and it was basically the author responding to some backlash she received from people telling her, if she had so many issues living where she is, why doesn't she just move.
To put it in context, she initially wrote about a lack of access to parental leave and child-care in her area. Her response, to the backlash, was that she's built a life where she is. She has a good job, a family, and a mortgage.
Her ultimate point was how come people think, that moving and starting over somewhere new could be so easy. But my takeaway was, how come people think that packing up and leaving is the answer to any problem.
It's Just Avoidance
Finding yourself in a situation that you can't make heads or tails out of, is normal. Not knowing what move is the right move, is normal. But thinking you can run off and it will be over and done with, is not. Whatever reason you think is good enough to call it quits and dip, is not. That's not triumph, it's avoidance, it's giving up and caving in. It might not feel like it, at least not at first.
Blinded by Novelty
When you've made the move and settled in. You start embracing your new surroundings and meeting new people. It can truly feel like you're starting life over, starting anew. This can be an incredibly empowering feeling. You may be thinking that this time around, you're in control of your life and are confident with the path forward. Which may be true, but it's a reality that's short lived if you haven't come to terms with the troubles from your past.
Old Baggage Returns
Things could be going great in the beginning, but that'll probably only last in the short term. Because the past catches up to you eventually. The more you try to bypass or escape your issues, the harder and faster they come back to bite you in the ass.
The truth is no matter how hard you try, you can't outrun the past. Especially if you haven't taking the time to analyze the situation and pinpoint the problem. That's why you're running away. It's not the need to go find yourself or because you're current situation is so poor that you MUST get out. At least it's not likely to be. It's because you're facing a problem that you can't solve.
Danger and Opportunity
Oddly enough, that's the first step to solving it. There's a blessing in not knowing how to tackle a problem. The best way to go about it however is to be mindful of the situation. Which is not easy, by any stretch of the word. It means putting emotions aside and looking for logical solutions. Sometimes there is no logic in our mess, in our trouble, although there's always a solution. One that involves making a choice. Just focus on that, whether or not you know the right one.
Make the wrong one and you'll learn, but if it's right, you'll have peace. Either way you're moving forward. I believe Oprah said it best, "do the right thing, you'll know it's the right thing because in the end there'll be peace". Focus on finding peace where you are now. Then it will be easier to take that peace with you, wherever you go.