One of the things I was excited for most in college was the opportunity to make new friends. The end of my high school experience included drama and I found myself longing to find new friends. Granted, I ended high school with good friends, but I was excited for new beginnings.

I was shocked when I started college and couldn’t seem to make friends. My floor consisted of an amazing group of young individuals, but I didn’t seem to click with anyone. I saw everyone creating friend groups and I just kept telling myself that I would meet people in my classes. By the time my freshman year ended I had friends, but they weren’t the friends I had hoped for. When I told stories I would refer to people as my friends, but it was just a label because who wants to say “acquaintance” while telling a story. I had one friend and that was my random freshman roommate. We had bonded over the fact that we didn’t socialize well.

I was able to pinpoint why I didn’t make friends. Everyone comes into college open to meeting new people, but they stay open. By this, I mean they would do activities in groups. That can be fun and I did many activities with them. They thrived in this situation. I wanted to create close friendships. I wanted someone I could have substantial conversations with. I didn’t want to exclude people, but I wanted to make connections. At the end of my freshman year, there wasn’t one person I was going to try to visit over the summer or keep in touch with.

It wasn’t until sophomore year that I really began to make those friendships I had earlier discussed. Those people pushed me to be my best self. I could stay up with them until 3 a.m. doing laundry or talking about my problems. Something clicked my sophomore year and people I had never imagined had become close friends with me. I was introduced to new people and activities. I finally found those people that really made me feel great. I was sure of being friends with them and I wanted to spend time with them.

I transferred schools and re-learned the struggles of making friends. I may be outgoing once you get to know me, but I am probably one of the shyest people you will ever meet. It has to do with comfort and breaking down the walls. Leaving my newly established friendships was hard and trying to create new ones was even harder. My friends had set a standard that I held other people to. I couldn’t seem to find them. I am in that “year two” in which things seem to click. I have friends at Walsh and am so grateful for them, but I still don’t feel 100%.

Of course I am going to graduate and leave college with friends. Don’t get me wrong. I haven’t been alone through college, but the permanence and creation of friendships is still up in the air. I am not sure where I stand, but how well do I know them? How much time do I spend with people? I can always return to those friends from high school or my first university. That’s when I really realize they are my people.

So just know, college isn’t that place where you magically make friends. It’s harder than it seems. Maybe it is just how I am. Maybe I am not outgoing or open enough to do so. Maybe my end goal closes me off, but I can’t help it. I am continually learning how to make friends. So if this is your freshman year and you don’t feel like you “have friends." Don’t worry! It will all come with time. Just know that you aren’t the only one who has had this problem. You aren’t alone.