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How To Make A Rum Ham In 5 Easy Steps

Let go of any dignity you have left.

alexcea matthews

Oct 17, 2016

University of Southern California

842

wiki.com

A few weeks ago a friend texted me asking if I knew how to make a ham. Considering Thanksgiving is still quite a ways off, and this subject had never been broached before, saying that I was a little bit confused is a giant understatement. Then add the fact that they then asked me if I would be willing to make a "rum ham", and I legit had no idea what to say.

Fast forward to now when I will have spent many hours of my Saturday making this uban legend food so I decided to share my wisdom:

1. For starters, let go of any dignity you may have left. When you utter the words "I'm baking a rum ham" it's over.

2. Learn where the term rum ham actually comes from. Considering I'm not an avid fan of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, I had to do a little research.

3. Follow this link to learn how to actually make a rum ham http://www.instructables.com/id/Making-a-Rum-Ham/

4..Don't drink the product. You'll need it for the recipe, but also ew day drinking.

5. And finally don't hold high expectations. This is a fake food item from a TV show after all.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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How To Make A Rum Ham In 5 Easy Steps

Let go of any dignity you have left.

1. For starters, let go of any dignity you may have left. When you utter the words "I'm baking a rum ham" it's over.

2. Learn where the term rum ham actually comes from. Considering I'm not an avid fan of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, I had to do a little research.

3. Follow this link to learn how to actually make a rum ham http://www.instructables.com/id/Making-a-Rum-Ham/

4..Don't drink the product. You'll need it for the recipe, but also ew day drinking.

5. And finally don't hold high expectations. This is a fake food item from a TV show after all.

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

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