Last week, I wrote about how we need to change the way we date in order to effectively date. I ended with the concept of increased communication, but in order to exhaust that idea, another needs to be addressed.
In order to date successfully, you must learn to love sacrificially.
To clarify, I only intend this to be applied in the context of a serious relationship, one where both people genuinely love each other.
In order for a healthy relationship to prosper, each person must be willing to sacrifice for the other. I know that statement is a slap in the face to today's culture that says "Get all you can out of everything, and don't worry about how you get it.", but as today's culture has a divorce rate of 50% so I am not sure we should be listening to anything culture says on dating and love.
But practically, what does this look like?
Before I hash out sacrificial love, I need to describe times in which sacrificing is not the right thing to do. Never sacrifice in these ways.
1. Faith- Do not sacrifice your faith in any way for your boyfriend/girlfriend or even a wife or husband.
2. Core Values- In a relationship, you will change as a person, but if a significant other is demanding a drastic personality change, do not compromise. If they don't like your personality and how you carry yourself, why are they dating you in the first place.
3. Purity- As someone who has struggled with purity in the name of love, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that it was not the correct way to go. Hold fast to purity, for both of your sakes, and if purity is a struggle make plans to get married as fast as possible. Do not be irresponsible in your decision-making, but make an effort for marriage.
In explaining the sacrificial concept of dating, it is best to use real life examples, so this article will be mostly written by my friends and parents as I explain the ways they have sacrificed.
You have to sacrifice TIME for each other.
Make time for your significant other. Set aside time every day to talk to each other/see each other, especially if the relationship is long distance. Talk to one another, ask how the other's day went and do not take "It was fine" for an answer. Dig deep and actually hear about their day. Some good friends of mine taught me this valuable lesson, as they are working long distance at the moment. They would talk on the phone every day, but it became mundane and unattached. Finally, they had to sit down and decide that they had to continue building their relationship via phone calls, so they needed to make the most of every second they had on the phone with each other. This takes time.
You have to sacrifice MONEY for the other person.
I in no way mean go blow all your savings for your boyfriend/girlfriend, that's foolish. However, spend money on them. Take them on dates, buy them their favorite snack, spend the gas to go see them occasionally if you're long distance. Put your money where your mouth is, and if you say you love them show it with your bank account.
Lastly,
Sacrifice your LIKES for them.
This could be as simple as getting their favorite flavor of ice-cream instead of yours, but it could also mean cutting off or trimming back outside relationships that may intrude on your romantic relationship. If they want to go somewhere for dinner, go to that place. If she's asking you to be on guard with your relationships with other women, do so. Those concerns are not grounded in fairy tales. Now if she's saying you can't have any female friends, or vice-versa, it's time to talk through that and deal with those insecurities. But your romantic partner should know of every significant relationship you have with the opposite sex. Dating is training for marriage, so begin by training yourself to be completely honest with your boyfriend/girlfriend, and sacrifice for them.
One last note, when sacrificing for the other, DO NOT KEEP SCORE! I've said this before, but if you keep a tally of your sacrifices, you aren't sacrificing you're exploiting. You're only doing good to that person to get good from them, and that's not love that's business.
As you grow together, you learn to sacrifice more and more for that person. Learning to sacrifice in the dating field will put you very far ahead in the marriage field, and if you're dating to marry, this should be a desire of yours.
Once again, if you liked this article, please give a like and a share so others can also gain from it. My prayer is that relationships all around the world are strengthened by God and His grace.
Shoutout to Shelbi Raines Photography for the pictures. Check out Shelbi's website to book an appointment.
https://shelbirainesphoto.wordpress.com/