Four years. Four years is the age difference between us but you would never know. I was stoked when you were born because I wanted a sister that would be my movie buddy, my partner in crime, and somebody that wanted to hang out with me as much as I wanted to hang out with them. Like it or not you were born to be my best friend.
Growing up, I’m not going to lie, you were a pain. You loved being the center of attention, loved trying to do everything I did and loved having whatever I had. I didn’t mind much that you wanted to do everything I did because I thought it was cool that we could share something like a hobby or an interest but I absolutely hated that you wanted everything I had and you’d usually get it too.
That was your perk of being the baby. I, eventually, got used to it and when we grew up, we began to fight a lot because you got everything you wanted and about everything in general.
I remember one of the worse fights we ever had, you told me you hated me and that was the worst I think I’ve ever felt. I felt like I failed you as a sister and a friend. You didn’t mean it but it stung, you know? Dealing with that was hard and I always tried to over-compensate afterward to make up for whatever I had done for you to hate me, but we were so different.
We got older and it wasn’t until my junior and senior year of high school that we started to get really close. I think that had to do with me having my license and we got to be around each other without other people or our parents around to force us to get along.
I introduced you to all kinds of new music and you introduced me to your version of music, (which honestly scared me lol) but we bonded and things were so much better. We fought still but it wasn’t ever as bad as it was at its peak.
High school graduation rolled around and I was so excited to move out of the house and go to college and “start my new life”. Moving away was never a hard thing until I realized I wouldn’t have you around all the time anymore.
I wouldn’t get to take you to school every morning and blare a different song every day to embarrass you. I wouldn’t get to see you on your first day of school or your school dances or your first date or at the big games you'd cheer at.
It was hard and when freshman year was sucking, and I was in a black hole relationship, and stress was eating me alive, truthfully all I wanted was my sister. If not to see or talk to you but to just ride in the car with you and listen to whatever terrible rapper you liked that week and listen to you sing every word.
I didn’t realize that was all I wanted until I had gotten myself out of that black hole relationship and away from what was bringing me down and by then it was too late.
I’m sorry that I don’t text or call often but it’s because I feel like I would bother you with what's going on with me because I know that you are dealing with stuff too. I’m also aware that the phone works both ways and you don’t exactly reach out either. Just know that I’m pissed and waiting for a text like you’re waiting on One Direction to get back together.
I admire you so much and I think you will never truly understand how proud of you I am. You are beautiful, tall, amazing with makeup, athletic, and headstrong.
You have these wild outbursts about random things that don’t relate to anything we’ve talked about and then act like I’m crazy for not knowing what you are talking about.
You’re a giant goofball that laughs at your own jokes (I’m guilty of doing the same thing), and you always know how to make me laugh when I need it or scare the shit out of me for your own amusement. All of these wonderful and sometimes annoying traits are what make you so wonderful and special.
At the end of the day we may fight or go lengths of time without talking but you are still my little sister, my built-in best friend, a giant pain in my ass, but you’re a damn good kid.
Love always,
Sissy