Classes are done for the day, and it is time to relax or do homework, but in today's day and age, we are dependent on the internet. Whether we are browsing on our laptops, tablets, or cell phones, we are in desperate need of Wi-Fi like it is water. Life is hard enough with the stress of college, I do not want the burden of a sh*tty internet connection on top of it, but at least I can connect to the business's Wi-Fi next door. Here's to all the days I got stuck in remediation, kicked off the servers, and lost my place in "New Girl."
1. It's 3 p.m., classes are over, and it's time to unwind and stream some TV shows.
You can Netflix and chill, or Hulu and commitment -- regardless, you have to keep up with your shows.
2. But you have no signal in your room because the router is at the other end of the building.
Even though the router is only at the other end of the hallway, the connection just isn't strong enough to support the angst of Fall Out Boy. But this is the price you have to pay when you get the corner room of the dorm.
3. So you break out your handy-dandy Ethernet cable.
That little cord has the potential to make a difference on this campus, and you would think that the connection would be enough to suffice, but that is not always the case, as demonstrated oh so often.
4. Yet the internet still froze in the middle of the show you were streaming.
As if "Game of Thrones" was not dramatic enough, it froze in the midst of a character's hand being cut off! Because that's an image I wanted paused on my screen.
5. So you give up and decide to do homework and trek over to the library because their Wi-Fi should be better.
But as you ascend to the quiet floors, the Wi-Fi gets weaker, and don't get me started on the study rooms! You have to pick: solidarity or productivity?
6. But in the midst of your online quiz for economics you get stuck in remediation.
I don't care. It's only a quiz. I was only on question 5. It's just part of my grade, so no big deal or anything.
7. You try to reload your page in panic, hoping that this is a sinister joke.
But it's not -- you have 21 updates, so you scream internally.
8. But Bradford Persistent Agent insists on updating your laptop every Wednesday.
Let me play you the song of my sadness.
9. So you upload all 21 updates, which can take anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. Sometimes more.
And in those minutes that passed by, you can only contemplate all the work you could have accomplished.
10. Then the magical moment comes when you can once again connect to the internet.
It's like the rebirth of your laptop: You're surfing the net, and everything seems to be functioning perfectly fine.
11. That is, until you are browsing for something important and there are too many people on the server.
And the internet kicks you off the server, for the third time today. Coincidence? I think not.
12. But you don't want to go to the IT help desk, because you matched with the boy on Tinder.
It's not you, it's me. OK, well, it actually is you and the fact that your assistance is too far away.
14. The cycle begins all over again next week.
I feel in it my body, mind, and soul.
Regardless of your sh*ternet, Lycoming, I love you for all that you are, Ethernet cables and all.
