We always want to show support for the people that we love. Whether they be a family member, a friend, or a significant other, we want to encourage them. When someone that we care about comes to us with a plan, an idea, or a problem, we want to do our best to help them because we want the best for them.

This process tends to go a lot smoother when you are in agreement with the person who is coming to you for encouragement or a blessing of some kind. We tend to look to our friends and family members for validation about decisions, big or small. The thing is, though, we aren't always going to agree. There are going to be times when the people in your life want to do something that you don't think is good for them. You might think that they aren't thinking of how this will affect them in the future, or they're thinking with their heart a little too much and not with their head quite enough. Whatever the case may be, there will be times when you will butt heads with the people you hold near and dear to you. And that's okay.

There are a few things to remember when this happens, whether you're the one who has to tell your friend/family member that you don't agree with the decision they're going to make, or you're the friend/family member that is being told that someone doesn't agree with what you're about to do.

First and foremost, remember that just because you care about someone doesn't mean that you are obligated to agree with them 100% of the time. I can tell you firsthand that some of the people I hold very close to my heart have a habit of making decisions that I think aren't very thought-out. That's fine. I don't have to agree with everything everyone else does. I know that there are times when someone comes to me with a plan or a solution and as they're explaining it to me, in my head I can't help but think that this can't be the best way to address this problem.

On the flipside of this, if you're the person that's being disagreed with, remember that just because someone is disagreeing with you doesn't mean that they don't care about your happiness or that they don't want you to be happy. It just means that they think there's a different way to go about doing what you're planning to do. A disagreement doesn't always equate to a personal attack.

Another thing to remember is that love isn't about enabling someone's self-destructive behaviors, or behaviors that are destructive to others. As a matter of fact, caring about someone or loving someone means that you should want to be confronting the people you care about, about these behaviors so that they can improve their own lives and the lives of the people around them.

It's tough to find a way to approach those topics because you don't want to anger or upset the people that you love. But if you love someone that means you have to be willing to have some uncomfortable conversations for their sake as well as your own. Don't actively condone unhealthy behaviors and decisions. I know that's easier said than done because no one likes having to argue or disagree with anyone, let alone people they really care about. But by enabling negative behaviors you aren't showing that you care about the people that you're claiming to care about--you're letting them hurt themselves and potentially others.

Refusing to enable someone can create some rough waters. I won't sit here and try to pretend that it's always going to go smoothly, if it ever ends up going smoothly. But it's something that's necessary. Everyone involved will be frustrated as you try to work through what's going on, but the payoff and the improvements that come from it will make it worth it in the end.

Loving someone doesn't mean always agreeing with them. It doesn't mean letting them engage in destructive behaviors because that's what they want to do and you're supposed to want what they want. Loving someone means that you're looking out for them even when they aren't looking out for themselves.