Loving somebody with anxiety is definitely not a walk in the park. Sometimes, I feel uneasy for no reason at all. I need reassurance often because my mind tricks me into thinking that people could abandon me at any second. I'm a perfectionist that beats myself up over the tiniest mistakes. I'll be genuinely convinced that my life is in complete shambles over minor inconveniences, and I won't be able to sleep or eat or even catch my breath when something is troubling me. I have a history of self-medicating and indulging in escapism just because it’s so tempting to want to feel careless, fun, and free…even if only for a moment. Even if I know reality is still going to be waiting for me in the morning.

Sometimes, it seems daunting and scary to face the world, and I’ll roll over in bed and hit snooze and ignore my responsibilities and say “today is canceled.” It’s exhausting always being in your own head, overthinking everything and worrying about nonsense 24/7. Seems like a handful to deal with, right? Trust me, I know. I think about it often and wonder how anybody even wants to deal with me. It's not funny or cute to say you have anxiety when you don't even know the half of it.

But I’ve realized something. I am not just my anxiety. I’m not the only person in the world with weird flaws and quirks. In fact, I actually love people with weird flaws and quirks the most. My own “strange” tendencies make me one of the most understanding, nonjudgmental, and empathetic people I know. I will always give people the benefit of the doubt. I will always think twice before I make an assumption about somebody else because I know that everybody is fighting their own battles. When I’m open about my issues, it allows people to be vulnerable about theirs. I’ve made so many more valuable and genuine connections with others just by being brave enough to be more transparent and real about who I am, and I've noticed that it encourages others to follow suit.

I love so deeply and truly. Fake, fleeting friendships and relationships are not in my vocabulary. I might be a lot to handle at times, but I am loyal to a fault and I will always be there for anybody I care about. It’s because I want to be the friend that I wish I had at times. I want to be there for people who feel alone or troubled because I know all too well what it’s like to feel that way. Acknowledging my inner demons and learning how to tackle them has only made me stronger and wiser. Sometimes, I wish I could be anybody but me. But more recently than ever, I wouldn’t want to be anybody else. I choose to celebrate my differences, my uniqueness, and my authenticity... because if I don’t, who will?

I've had to learn that just because I'm anxious, doesn't mean that I'm not worthy of love or that I'm "too much." I've had to make the conscious effort to focus more on my strengths and my gifts rather than my shortcomings. I've had to force myself to turn away from the tried-and-true negative coping mechanisms that I've been so used to and exchange them for healthy ones. It hasn't been easy, but it's been worth it. And deciding to accept myself despite my weaknesses has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.