To Those I've Loved Before
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To Those I've Loved Before

You are my first kiss, my author and my eye-opener.

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To Those I've Loved Before
freestocks.org

Dear You,

You were my very first kiss. February 13th, 2012 we decided to go on a walk in the freezing cold so you could give me a Valentine's Day gift. I didn't know that this gift would be intangible and I definitely did not expect your lips to be anywhere near mine. You told me I was a natural and maybe I was, but you let my innocence go. We were on and off and in secret for almost one whole year before I decided to move on. It's hard to imagine that I could ever love someone who left bruises on my wrist from pulling me so hard.

You were my first girl crush. Not too many people know who you are because it would be embarrassing as a straight girl to have your identity revealed. It was the sixth grade and we talked all summer. When you said that you were going on vacation I told you I was going to kill myself because I couldn't stand not to talk to you. You called me out on my bullshit of being depressed and didn't talk to me until halfway through the next school year. We had calculus together during senior year when your boyfriend cheated on you.

You still have me in your grasp. We met the summer you joined marching band and I didn't expect anything to come of it, not a friendship, and certainly not a kiss on the Haunted Mansion ride. It's like we were made to love each other, however you'd like to interpret that. I'd come to you whenever I felt anything, whether it was happiness, excitement, or (most of the time) sadness. You bring out a side of me that remains benign, for I will never be able to count the days as you have.

You wrote in a book for me. On my birthday in sophomore year of high school, you wrote pages upon pages of our six-month friendship. I truly never expected to love you the way I did, I just thought that we were friends. We saw Paramore together twice and to hear your voice along with Hayley's was truly a blessing. We both have bipolar disorder, but while you have issues in trusting people too little, I have issues in trusting people too much. I cared for you more than you'll ever understand, so, for now, we are just null in each other's void.

You are the one. I never expected you to be the one, especially considering I had loved so many other people. With them the definition of love is different, perhaps they were all friendly; maybe some of them were romantic and some of them genuine. With you, I know you're the total package: lust, friendship, fun, loyalty, care, worship, etc. I trust that you are as in love with me as I am with you, which took me a long time considering you are my best friend's ex-boyfriend. When people scoff and laugh at me for saying that we'll get married and have children someday I just shake my head and tell them that they won't be invited.

You could be someone I've never met. In a world of seven billion people, I'd like to think there are some people I'd like to love that I haven't met yet. You could be in one of my classes, you could be thousands of miles away, you could be someone I already know. Of the many people and sexualities and personalities, I desire to find more people to love. Maybe you won't be the same as the one, or the book, or the girl, or the first kiss, but you will be somebody.

Yours truly,

Another somebody

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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