Every girl wants to feel desired. You want to feel admired and beautiful.
You want someone to take an interest in the very core of who you are; someone who sees right through your insecurities and the wall you put up, and just sees you; the beautiful, smart, fearless girl that you are.
He was all of those things.
He saw you. He saw your feistiness and your rage. He saw your beauty and your grace. He saw your sadness and your tears. He was there for all of it.
And just as quickly as he knocked down your walls, he was gone.
Maybe it was your own fault he left. Maybe it wasn’t. Either way, you’re left in a mess.
But even as years have passed, you still think of him. He still interrupts the quiets of your day, still invades your dreams at night, still harbors your tears in moments of nostalgia.
But darling, don’t let those thoughts drag you down. Don’t keep swimming in the waters of heartache, anchoring yourself to “what if’s.”
Every person on this earth deserves to be fought for. Mistakes are made, values shift and circumstances change, but your value never does.
That boy might be a beautiful dream you tucked in your pocket; a fantasy for a rainy day. He might even be your soulmate, the man God always intended you to marry.
No matter what destiny has laid out for you, please do not ever forget to let yourself be fought for. It’s easy to keep reaching out and making all the efforts.
It feels so good to try to move things more quickly and make it all fit perfectly, but you’re jamming square pegs in round holes.
If a man wants you in his life, he will make the effort. He will call, email, text, make plans. He will let you know every reason he needs you and forgive you for whatever went wrong.
He will make amends and keep fighting for you.
But if he doesn’t. If he calls and texts but doesn’t make plans. If you’re standing there, always unsure of his intentions, then he isn’t fighting.
If he doesn’t tell you he wants to be with you and actually says that sentence, “I want to be with you,” then let it go.
You can’t anchor a ship that’s still trying to sail.
He can miss you and love you, but that does not mean he can fight for you.
Please do not ever sell yourself short. He can come back a million times without ever actually being back.
Do not let your love for him cloud your judgment.
Imagine you have a daughter. Would you want a man to fight for her? To value who she is? You wouldn’t send her chasing the bumper of a moving car, so please don’t ever do that to yourself.
Maybe someday he’ll be yours. Maybe he’s supposed to be, but do not ever sacrifice yourself, your value or your needs for a chance at being with him.
And listen to your friends. They love you deeply. They don’t want to watch you hurt. They don’t want to hand you Kleenex and watch you struggle with whether or not to ask him to hang out again.
If he wants you, he will come and get you. He will be specific. He will ask you on a date, using the word date. He will ask you to be in a relationship with him. He will talk about a future. And he will value your heart the way he would a child’s.
Darling, if it doesn’t look like this, don’t take it. You are SO much more than you give yourself credit for.
Love yourself first, and he will too. Love yourself first, and the right love will find you.