When did the idea arise that if a woman cries over the loss of a man she loves, she is weak and dependent on him? Why do we advocate for feminism and equality but tear women down if they fall in love and never truly believe men are actually in love?

Everybody should be able to support themselves, survive on their own, and be happy with their own company. Independence. An idea that we, as a society, have to make more of an effort to teach to young girls. You should be content with your own company, content being single, content if you don't have anybody to hang out with sometimes. However, as humans, we crave companionship and we form bonds with others. We become close and genuinely enjoy the company of those we love, whether it be a partner, friend, or family member. So why is some people's idea of feminism that of being void of romantic relationships with men?

We hear and see it time and time again. A strong woman who is very happy and capable of being on her own falls in love with a man and everyone rolls their eyes. The story progresses and the couple breaks up. The woman cries, she's heartbroken. The audience rolls their eyes more, begging to just see one female character that is independent and doesn't need men. Since when are love and independence mutually exclusive? Why is crying a weak action? Why is falling in love and spending time with your love indicative of dependence and not of want and happiness?

On the other hand, men are also not getting the best out of this. Men are perceived as weak when they cry for the loss of their love. They still get to be labeled as independent, there's never anyone claiming that they're sick of men not being able to provide for themselves without the help of a woman. However, not only can men not cry after a breakup with their girlfriend, but no one expects them to. They are instead patted on the back for "finally getting rid of her," which, if he really was in love with her, would only make him feel worse. Men are not allowed to cry or genuinely be in love. It's as if we've feminized human emotions. Even when a man spends thousands of dollars on a ring and asks a woman to spend their lives together, it is the woman that is congratulated for finding love, while the man is told his freedom and fun are over, regardless of how happy is he is or how much time he put into making the decision.

Let's stop putting women down for finding love. Let's stop assuming men aren't capable of emotions. Let's stop berating women for their sadness at the loss of a romantic loved one. Let's stop preventing men from showing sadness.

Being in love is not exclusive to women and doing so does not make women dependent on men. It is only if they've lost their purpose and ability to care and provide for themselves when he leaves that they've also lost their independence. There is nothing wrong with crying and feeling an ache in your chest when he's gone, the independence comes from being able to move on, find contentment in yourself again, and support yourself.

I am a feminist and do not like to be told I'm not because I'm in love. I am a feminist and do not like to be told I need to be more independent just because I am in a relationship.