I will be the first one to admit that practicing unconditional self-love is hard and almost impossible at times. I've had my fair share of experiences in life that have led me to have a horrible sense of self and really low self-esteem. I know that I'm not alone in that, and if you're reading this, maybe you can relate. I will share a bit about my journey to unconditional self-love, and how my journey can help you, to
I used to hate the way that I looked, the way that I talked, and I especially hated the way that my body looked. It's taken me years to be able to say that I don't necessarily hate my body, but I don't love my body either. I'm at this weird in-between "limbo" kind of state when it comes to how I view my body; I believe that's perfectly okay. Learning to love myself unconditionally is not an overnight process, and it's okay to openly admit that I still have things that I wholeheartedly need to work on. I've been unfortunate enough to deal with some pretty harsh body image issues, which I'll write about in a later article; suffice it to say though, that learning to love myself is hard, but rewarding work.
There are moments when I find myself starting to talk myself down, criticize myself, and begin to make hateful comments; in those moments I found it best to try to crush those thoughts and emotions right where they were. How did I do that? I started to make a list of at least seven to ten positive things to say about myself. Was it annoying? Absolutely. At first, I didn't want to admit that there was anything good that I could say about myself, because my brain was bound and determined to stay stuck in a negative space. Self-love is sometimes an uphill climb, but it is so worth it.
I'm still learning how to love myself unconditionally, and one way that really helps me is writing the encouraging words that I know I would want to hear from someone else. I do this by writing poetry. Most of my empowering and women-centered poems are actually built around encouraging words that I know I need to hear at that moment because of the headspace that I'm in. Seeing those poems on the computer screen, (and later in print), remind me that I can give myself encouragement; I can give myself the love that I used to rely on someone else to give to me.
Now, I'm not saying that the love of another person isn't necessary, because it absolutely is. I just happen to firmly believe that I do not have to rely on another person to give me the kind of love that I deserve to give to myself. I can't rely on another person to give me any kind of validation, approval, or to increase my sense of self-worth; only I can do that.
You don't need anyone else to give you the kind of love that only you can give yourself, either. There is no reason why you should ever have to look to anyone but yourself for any kind of validation, approval, or increase in self-worth. You are your own person, and you deserve to love yourself exactly as you are.
Self-love is hard, and unconditional self-love is even harder. But, self-love is also the best kind of love. One day, you won't feel like you need "x number" of likes on a photo to feel like you looked really beautiful today, and one day you won't feel like you need to hear back from "x, y, or z" guy to make you feel like you matter. You're beautiful and you matter regardless of how many likes a photo got or who texted you back that day. One day, you'll (hopefully) love yourself enough that other people's opinions of you won't need to matter; only your own opinions of yourself matter.
I hope that this article has given you a little perspective, encouragement, or bit of self-love advice!