Loving is easy, or at least that is what Alexander O'Connor (the recording artist for Rex Orange County) states in one of his songs: "Loving is easy, when everything's perfect." The blatant display of unapologetic romance in his songs make it relatable to any couple who considers themselves soulmates.
Loving is not supposed to be easy though. Falling in love may be rooted in the unconscious, but the act of staying in love is very much present in the conscious mind. To love for years requires more than just being in love, it demands friendship and hard work.
In a longstanding relationship, the couple knows how to resolve conflict: how to forgive, how to take blame and how to fight (learning the best way to communicate grievances with your partner).
Moreover, a long-term partner knows how to love unconditionally and fully. To be in a fight, but to still be reminded about what you love about them: the way they grab your hand while walking or wink after mumbling something to you at dinner. Even more so, it is to love even what you hate about them.
Everyone's relationship is different.
It is OK to make mistakes.
It is OK to fall apart.
It is OK to be friends.
It is OK to get back together.
However, it is never OK to mistreat your significant other or to allow them to mistreat you in an attempt to have a longstanding relationship. Part of staying together is to know what you need and how you deserve to be treated.
If you no longer love what you hate, if you can't have a respectful argument, if you don't seek to share your life with them, if they do not seek to share their life with you, maybe it is time to rethink what you want.
"Best Friend" by Rex Orange County states, "But no, it wasn't meant to be and see, I wasn't made for you, and you weren't made for me, though it seemed so easy." "Best Friend" is a much more accurate representation of love. Sometimes love alone is not enough, and that is OK.