In life, it's normal to fall for someone. But, when you're let down constantly over and over again, feeling like love is not in your favor, your emotions are exhausted. You're mentally, physically exhausted and would rather be angry in the corner.
I've felt it too. Anytime when someone you like goes liking another or you're not interested in someone that likes you, it can feel like what is so wrong with you that you're attracting people you really don't want?
Nothing is wrong with you.
I am very tired. I'm tired of feeling not good enough or feeling like the universe hates me. I feel as if the universe wants me to be unhappy. Be unhappy with someone you're unattracted to. Is that what it takes for the world to see? That I'm unhappily trying to seem happy?
Well, it won't work.
Maybe, it isn't my time for love. But, at the same time, I feel as if it's never a right time.
Wish I could have a chat with the universe and ask a bunch of questions. Questions like, "Why do we even have feelings?" "Why can't we live a carefree life?" "Let us not fall in love and get hurt." Just simple questions like that.
I often don't have anyone to chat with about these topics so I have them in my head.
I do wonder why I'm never good enough for someone I actually have feelings for. I'd rather not date someone just to pass the time. We don't have time to deal with petty things like that.
I keep trying to remind myself, they aren't the catch. I am. I do remember it, for a short period of time. Then, my feelings get tired again.
I guess you can say I'm just frustrated. I feel like the universe is telling my to be with someone just because. Yes, hurt feelings are apart of life.
People keep telling me, "It's not your time to fall in love." Well then, I guess it's a time for criminals to commit their crime. They have bad intentions, so why can't good things come to good and kind-hearted people?
Society might say, there is good karma. Really? I guess I haven't met it yet.