I keep hearing people say “there must be something in the water, everybody is getting engaged.” Well clearly it’s not in the water I’m drinking and I am A-OK with that -- but let’s talk about it. I’ve been out of high school for two years now and I can’t even name all of the people that have gotten engaged or married or found “the love of their life” since that time.
However, I find myself to be skeptical of quite a few of these relationships, not because I feel that the couple isn’t happy or won’t last, but because I think their ideas of love are hindered. I believe the most common misconception of love is that it is an undeniable and over powering feeling. That is not what love is – not that I’m speaking from experience of course.
Also, what happens when that feeling goes away? Lust is a feeling, love is a choice. Something I tell people all the time is this: I love my dog, I also love buffalo chicken dip, and I love "How I Met Your Mother," but I’m not in love with any of them and the way they make me feel is not love it’s just infatuation. This is very similar to the idea that just because someone gives you butterflies does not mean you’re in love with them. Love is also not just romantic, I feel as though people believe they need a romantic partner in order to feel loved. I feel loved by my family, my friends, and yes even my dog. It’s the little things, honestly. The following are some examples of love and the idea that it is a choice not a feeling and can be seen in situations that aren’t romantic.
Love is watching a movie you hate for the 50th time because you know it’s their favorite.
Love is knowing exactly what flavor of coffee they like.
And that they prefer an extra shot of espresso.
It is knowing exactly what kind of ice cream to buy your best friend when she’s in her feels.
Love is late night talks about life until you're crying for no reason.
And then laughing because you don’t know why you’re crying.
Love is putting your issues with feet aside to help your younger sibling put a band-aid on a badly stubbed toe.
It is listening to country music without complaining because you know your friends enjoy it.
Love is making one sibling pancakes and the other mac and cheese because God forbid they want the same thing.
…and then not getting mad when the other one decides he wants pancakes too
Love is the satisfaction of knowing you won’t be judged when your hair is a mess and you decide not to put on makeup.
It is the endless “remember when we did…”
It is unconditional.
It is forgiving.
And it does not hold a grudge.
Love is laughing so hard you cry.
Or even worse, snort.
Love is singing loudly in the car regardless of how badly you may sound.
It is dancing in public despite anyone that is watching.
Love is saying “I hate you” and knowing that it means the opposite.
It is staying up until 4 am and then sleeping in until 2 pm because you can.
It is driving around aimlessly for hours.
Love is sending ugly snapchats knowing full well you’ll be getting one equally as ugly in return.
It is effortless.
Love is all of these things and so much more. Yes, it is undeniable but it is not a feeling. Love is made up of the many choices we make every single day no matter how small they may be. But above all else, it is a truly wonderful thing that should not be materialized or given standards.