As of now I am a mother of two. One cat, and one dog. Like any other mother, I would do anything for my children. So, this time, I’m making myself look crazy and dedicating an article to my dog in his time of need. Hopefully, I won’t have to be writing about my cat anytime soon… but just bear with me as I try to describe why this isn’t as psychotic as you might think at first glance.

We went to see Samson at my brother’s plea for a “friend” for his new puppy. I was not in the least bit thrilled to potentially own a second puggle - they weren’t really my breed of preference. Still, Samson was a one-year-old puggle being displayed in the newspaper and it was the final day to adopt him, so my mom gathered us to check him out. I whined endlessly that if Seth got to have a dog, the next one is mine, so I pick if we buy him or not. Even though I wanted to be a brat about it, in my heart I was excited to have a dog for my own. When we arrived at the house I ran to be the first to peek around the corner and what I saw was the most perfect dog in the world for me. This pudgy, smush-faced, happy little ball of fur was just as excited to see me walking his way.

It was love at first sight.

That was 10 years ago, and only the beginning of an amazing journey. It amazes me every day that if we had not been there Samson would have been sent to a pound and I would have never had the blessing of being loved by such a sweet soul. Samson and I were best friends from the start, and even though 10 years have passed there has not been a single change in his behavior.

Samson is my angel on earth in the cheesiest way I can say that. He’s actually my child--my first-born. I can’t walk anywhere without hearing the pitter-patter of his paws. Then I stop, they stop, and I look down to see my companion patiently waiting for me to move again. When I come home from school he needs to be touching me. When I go to my room, I lay him on top of bed and sit on the floor doing homework leaning against it, and a little head comes to rest on my shoulder. I don’t know if anyone’s ever been loved like that, but it changes your world.

During the first year of his life with the Previty family, we sent him to a puppy training because he didn’t know the basic commands: “sit," “lay down," etc. (He still doesn’t, but he can high five like a beast!) One day, he was the unknowing volunteer to play the part of a dog going for food he shouldn’t. He innocently went up to a treat laying on the floor when the trainer stomped her foot in front of his face and poor Sam ran right to me to hide under my chair. Every day at PetSmart since, that’s where he stayed. Just like his mom, he graduated with very little participation…

And that’s just how he is. He doesn’t like loud noises, he doesn’t like when people are angry, and he always hides with me. When we go to the vet, I have to walk everywhere with him to give him the courage to face a human in scrubs. So when on an impromptu visit to the vet he lay limp in my lap, unimpressed with the commotion around him, I just cried. The difference was dramatic when Sam got cancer. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t eat, and I felt like such a shit of an owner for not being able to help him immediately. Did he know he was sick? Did he know how much it hurt me to see him like that? What was he thinking? It was December 21, 2014 when he was diagnosed, and it was easily the hardest 2 weeks of my life before he went into remission.

And now we’re back to square one and not only can I not help him, but I can’t be with him for another three weeks. But I know what is happening while I’m away. I spent every night with him while the lymphoma grew in him. I would protect Samson against anything you put against me. I would kill for that dog. Suddenly, I’m up against something I can only fend off and it’s so hard to accept. I can’t beat this cancer and I can’t save my dog. He won’t live to his ripest age and I won’t be with him when his fur turns white and he becomes a little grumpy old man. Instead he’s going to be taken from me and I know that’s just how it has to be. But I will sell my kidney on the black market if that’s what it takes to keep him with me as long as I possibly can. I’m so optimistic about round two of chemotherapy, but it still hurts that in the end this will be what consumes him. It also hurts that chemo is not very easy to pay for, neither is college, and debt hurts a lot too…

Gofundme was suggested by a friend. I never imagined myself using it, but I can’t imagine the financial and emotional burden that’s tying up my parents right now. We’re so dedicated, but money isn’t something that just appears and, unfortunately, that’s the only weapon we have against his cancer. I really want to be the hero for my parents and my dog this time. I know that he’s technically just a dog and that there are possibly worse things going on in people’s lives, but when something loves and depends on you that much, you’d be messed up not to do your best to give them that same respect in return. So far the experience has been amazing. When I told my dad about the fundraising, he told me not to get my hopes up and that it would really test his faith in humanity. $370, countless shares and endless support later and it changes everything. No one has to give and I wouldn’t expect anyone to because I know how hard money is to come by, but it has been really nice to not go through this alone.

I don’t like putting myself out there, but it is no secret that my pets hold the weakest place in my heart. I really want to do my best for them whenever I can, and giving Samson the spotlight he loves is where I’m going to start in his final year.

…While also including my cat because I'm not down with favoritism with children that would be horrible.