Love sucks
Start writing a post
Relationships

What is love, Like, Honestly?

Does love actually exist? Or does it not exist for me?

517
What is love, Like, Honestly?
Pexels

You know, I really thought that once I shot my shot, things would be different. LMAO WAS I WRONG ABOUT THAT. I mean, I shouldn't have just assumed that things would be automatically different and he'd fall in love with me; shoot, that's crazy. But I was hoping that he would have been flattered enough to see that a really cute girl like myself thinks a guy like him is super cute, If this situation was flipped, I would be hella flattered. I should have known better; I can't believe I actually thought this time would be different than the other times. I just don't think I could ever let this go.

Most people I talked to tell me that "Boys love that confidence shit" and to "Go for it because YOLO." I should have never listened. It's not like I struck out or anything; I still am talking to him, but God knows for how much longer. Excuse me for being cheesy, I do realize I'm only 18 and almost 19, but I think I found the guy I want to be my first boyfriend and I'd do whatever I can do to make this happen. Also, before anyone says anything like, "Just leave him be, he doesn't like you" or something along those lines, that statement is far from the truth. He does in fact have an interest in me and would love to get to know me better but the distance we have between is the key factor as to why I still haven't met the guy.

It just feels like I'll never find anyone. If I'm struggling so much now, I'm starting to question what's going to happy in the future. I stopped looking a long time ago and wanted to focus on myself but that's exactly when he fell into my lap. Everyone always says, the moment you stop looking is when someone will "run into you." Well, here I am, and I can't seem to move on even though we've talked on and off. I wish he lived closer and I wish I never met him. This is the main reason I start to question if "love" even exists, it seems like everyone these days is in a relationship with someone or even talking to someone in hopes of a romance blooming, and here's single old me sitting and listening to love songs and dreaming of the moment I meet my prince charming. I'm such a hopeless romantic, which attributes to me questioning love and if I'll ever find it or even come across it.

It doesn't just have to be love from a boyfriend or something, it can be from my parents and friends, too. Sometimes I can't help but think that they don't love me even though I know they do and I'm crazy for even thinking that they hate me. It's just the dark place my mind takes me to and there's no escape once I'm in there. I should probably just focus on myself, but that's so hard when you're working or out somewhere and a cute guy is around and you can't help but swoon. Or if they call you cute, you literally melt inside. Is that just me or does everyone feel the same way? Asking for a friend. Every time this boy says I'm cute I literally start to hyperventilate and I need to go and take a breather and come back and reply. I'm not used to these kinds of comments coming from the male species except for my dad, but that's my dad. All my friends tell me I'm pretty and what not and I believe them (LMAO for the most part until I look in the mirror and I'm like ew who is that) and I feel confident, but there's a different type of confidence that comes when a boy you think is cute calls you cute and you're left feeling a type of way. Ya feel me?

But seriously though, can someone please tell me what love is? I have two (I'm probably going to make a third) playlists on Spotify called "What is Love?" and "What is Love? Part II" with songs reminding me of the guys who broke my heart before I even legitimately gave it to them.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

53213
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

34184
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

956780
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

181549
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments