Lost In My Own Generation

Lost In My Own Generation

The things everyone seems to understand, but I don't

In a few months, I will have been an adult for almost two years... and I still know nothing. When I say that I know nothing, I don't literally mean that I don't know anything, because I do, I'm still in college. What I mean is the lingo of the times. And I know by saying that, I am not down with the times.

I am not afraid to admit that I don't really "fit in" with my age group because I do but I don't. I don't say any of the slang like "lit" or "bet.” Those are the only two I know, which, again, shows how much I don't fit in. I thought that I would compile a list of things that confuse me about this world and things that I feel like I should know about but don't. Enjoy.

1. Talking

Okay so this one has been explained to me many times and I still don't understand it exactly. I feel like growing up, no one ever said "Oh, they're talking. I think they're going to date." I think we said things like "They've been together a lot." I guess those are the same thing, but I don't remember hearing that phrase in high school or middle school. I don't know why it confuses me, but it does. I understand for someone to hangout with someone and go on dates, but we just called that dating and getting to know each other. Oh well.

2. Going to lunch.

Okay let me explain. I like to go to lunch and dinner with people I don't know very well because I feel like it is an easy way to get to know someone. If the conversation is becoming bland, then you can talk about the food or the restaurant or things in the place you're eating. Plus, when someone is 4. eating food, they feel more comfortable to talk about certain things, I don't know why, but it just does. I feel like now if you ask someone to go to lunch with you or have a meal with you, it is thought of as a date. I honestly just want to go and eat together and get to know you as a person. It doesn't mean anything, I just don't want to eat alone.

3. Dressing like you're homeless.

Okay now I feel like I should explain this one too. I mean the thing of wearing large baggy shirts and then a tiny sweater or sweatshirt over top. I don't understand this at all. I mean what's the point of the top layer if it's not covering anything? Why wear the sweater if it's not doing its purpose? Maybe it's just the trend that's at my school, but I swear every single person is like this. I don't know when it became cool, but I guess it is.

4. Trash television.

I guess this is one that has been around for a while, but I never realized it until now. I have never met so many people in my life who would rather watch television that is made just for background noise than watch something that could be beneficial to them. In the amount of time that the Kardashian show has been on, I have watched a total of thirty minutes because it is so unbelievably unesscary. I don't understand the point of watching something you can't take information away from.

5. Friend Groups.

Going through college and high school has allowed me to be a part of many friend groups. Personally, I think friend groups are the dumbest things. I don't understand how there can be a group of eight people who all get along and all like each other. It confuses me how these people just join a group and they just know that those are their friends. I have been in one friend group that fell apart because there were nine people all trying to be friends. It just can't work, I know that there is always someone who doesn't get along with the rest of the group.

6. Being overly “extra.”

I don't know when this word came into play, but I wonder how it became an adjective. We never called someone "extra" we instead called them "hyper". I feel like extra is a word that we just created and decided to use because saying that someone was hyper became wrong to say. I know that people are called extra if they are an overachiever or tried really hard to be the best. I don't remember when it became cool to be extra. I feel like now it's expected for people to be extra to show that they are fun or exciting or cool.

7. Everything having a deeper meaning.

Okay, this goes back to the whole lunch thing and hanging out and talking. I feel like it's weird now to go and spend time one on one with someone without there being a greater meaning behind it. If I ask you to go and do something with me, it you're a boy, it doesn't mean I'm doing that because I want to date you. I am simply asking you because I want to get to know you better. It's also like you can't go and talk to someone if they're already talking to someone. This goes back to my understanding of the concept of "talking to someone". Why can't I be friends with someone and make a friendship with someone while they're trying to date someone.

I hope that this list of confusing things for me has better explained these things rather than made them more confusing. I understand that these are basic things that I'm sure everyone but me knows and understands, but they're still confusing. I hope that this list has reminded you that not everyone is "down with the times" or in the groove.

Cover Image Credit: Medium

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I Went To "The Bachelor" Auditions

And here's why you won’t be seeing me on TV.

It’s finally time to admit my guilty pleasure: I have always been a huge fan of The Bachelor.

I can readily admit that I’ve been a part of Bachelor fantasy leagues, watch parties, solo watching — you name it, I’ve gone the whole nine yards. While I will admit that the show can be incredibly trashy at times, something about it makes me want to watch it that much more. So when I found out that The Bachelor was holding auditions in Houston, I had to investigate.

While I never had the intention of actually auditioning, there was no way I would miss an opportunity to spend some time people watching and check out the filming location of one of my favorite TV shows.

The casting location of The Bachelor, The Downtown Aquarium in Houston, was less than two blocks away from my office. I assumed that I would easily be able to spot the audition line, secretly hoping that the endless line of people would beg the question: what fish could draw THAT big of a crowd?

As I trekked around the tanks full of aquatic creatures in my bright pink dress and heels (feeling somewhat silly for being in such nice clothes in an aquarium and being really proud of myself for somewhat looking the part), I realized that these auditions would be a lot harder to find than I thought.

Finally, I followed the scent of hairspray leading me up the elevator to the third floor of the aquarium.

The doors slid open. I found myself at the end of a large line of 20-something-year-old men and women and I could feel all eyes on me, their next competitor. I watched as one woman pulled out her travel sized hair curler, someone practiced answering interview questions with a companion, and a man (who was definitely a little too old to be the next bachelor) trying out his own pick-up lines on some of the women standing next to him.

I walked to the end of the line (trying to maintain my nonchalant attitude — I don’t want to find love on a TV show). As I looked around, I realized that one woman had not taken her eyes off of me. She batted her fake eyelashes and looked at her friend, mumbling something about the *grumble mumble* “girl in the pink dress.”

I felt a wave of insecurity as I looked down at my body, immediately beginning to recognize the minor flaws in my appearance.

The string hanging off my dress, the bruise on my ankle, the smudge of mascara I was sure I had on the left corner of my eye. I could feel myself begin to sweat. These women were all so gorgeous. Everyone’s hair was perfectly in place, their eyeliner was done flawlessly, and most of them looked like they had just walked off the runway. Obviously, I stuck out like a sore thumb.

I walked over to the couches and sat down. For someone who for the most part spent most of the two hours each Monday night mocking the cast, I was shocked by how much pressure and tension I felt in the room.

A cop, stationed outside the audition room, looked over at me. After a brief explanation that I was just there to watch, he smiled and offered me a tour around the audition space. I watched the lines of beautiful people walk in and out of the space, realizing that each and every one of these contestants to-be was fixated on their own flaws rather than actually worrying about “love.”

Being with all these people, I can see why it’s so easy to get sucked into the fantasy. Reality TV sells because it’s different than real life. And really, what girl wouldn’t like a rose?

Why was I so intimidated by these people? Reality TV is actually the biggest oxymoron. In real life, one person doesn’t get to call all the shots. Every night isn’t going to be in a helicopter looking over the south of France. A real relationship depends on more than the first impression.

The best part of being in a relationship is the reality. The best part about yourself isn’t your high heels. It’s not the perfect dress or the great pick-up lines. It’s being with the person that you can be real with. While I will always be a fan of The Bachelor franchise, this was a nice dose of reality. I think I’ll stick to my cheap sushi dates and getting caught in the rain.

But for anyone who wants to be on The Bachelor, let me just tell you: Your mom was right. There really are a lot of fish in the sea. Or at least at the aquarium.

Cover Image Credit: The Cut

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11 Amazing TV Shows That Are Ending in 2019

All good things must come to an end.


It might just be the beginning of 2019 but there are many TV series wrapping up already. There are many breathtaking and original pilots around along with several reboots coming. This might be one of the greatest year for TV.

However, all good things must come to an end. Some series have been planned out and are going to be finished while others have been cut short. Sadly, here's a list of TV series to say goodbye to this year.

1. The Big Bang Theory (CBS)

Final Date: May

12 Seasons//279 episodes

2. Orange is the New Black (Netflix)


Final Date: End of 2019

7 seasons//91 episodes

3. Jane the Virgin (CW)


Final Date: Mid-late 2019

5 seasons//100 episodes

4. Games of Thrones (HBO)


Final Date: Summer

8 Seasons//73 episodes

5. Broad City (Comedy Central)

Comedy Central

Final Date: March

5 seasons//50 episodes



Final Date: Spring

7 seasons//67 episodes

7. Homeland (Showtime)


Final date: Summer

8 seasons//96 episodes

8. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Netflix)

Final date: January 25

4 seasons//52 episodes

9. The Affair (Showtime)


Final Date: End of 2019

5 seasons//42 episodes

10. Friends From College (Netflix)

Final Date: End of 2019

2 seasons//16 episodes

11. Crashing (HBO)


Final Date: End of 2019

3 seasons//24 episodes

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