I know that you’re tired of hearing the clichés.

“It gets better.”

“You’ll be okay.”

“They’re in a better place.”

I know that even if it does get better, it’s bad right now. Even if you will be okay in the future, you’re not okay right now. Even if they are in a better place, you’re angry because a better place would be here with you.

Losing a loved one is incredibly hard and one of the most painful things humans will ever have to endure. You go from seeing someone every day, or knowing that they’re out there living their lives, to knowing that they took their last breath on earth. And no matter how many sad songs you hear or how many quotes you read, it doesn’t seem to get any easier.

The truth about losing a loved one is that it does get easier but it doesn’t always seem like it. One day you will wake up and there will be a little less pain in your heart, but the pain will always be there.

Silent, watching, waiting.

People will tell you after some time that you shouldn’t be sad anymore. That you need to get over it and grow from it. I say, screw that. You are allowed to feel sad for as long as you want. Losing someone isn’t like failing a test. It isn’t like being upset because you misplaced your keys. The death of a loved one means that you will never see or hear from that person again, and it’s not easy to handle. And it shouldn’t be.

But you also shouldn’t let that stop you from living. No, living without someone you love isn’t easy. It takes time, a lot of time, but eventually it starts feeling a lot more bearable. You learn to live your life without them, no matter how hard it is, but you live every day for them. You do things every day and live each day because you know that they can’t.

No matter how much time passes, there will still be times when you’ll feel a little pinch in your heart. You’ll hear songs that remind you of them, you’ll smell their perfume, or you’ll hear their name. Some days will be easier than others but that’s the thing about losing someone, it’s a vicious cycle of remembering when all you want to do is forget the pain. But you never want to forget the person.

The most important thing to remember is that life is short, but it’s the longest thing we’ll ever do. No matter how many risks we take or how safe we play it, life is fragile and it can end in a blink of an eye. No, losing someone isn’t easy, but the best we can do is live every day in their memory.

"You cannot stop the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can stop them nesting in your hair."

-Eva Ibbotson