It’s viewed as somewhat of an inconvenience to some, having to stay in touch with parents and relatives during your teenage years and early twenties. It’s a clash between your own development and the roots of your inception that sometimes seem to hold you back. Why would I want to go home when my fraternity is having a camping trip that weekend, or a group of my friends planned on going to Ybor for a wild night? Of course when you say this to your family, for the most part, they’ll understand. The day you stop having to wake up at ungodly hours to get to first period, and start worrying about if you can wake up out of the drunken stupor to get to your 11 A.M. lecture is the day your parents understand that things have changed. It might not seem like it, but they understand what’s happening.

They went through the same process we all face now: the ever changing roller coaster of moving toward a career path. It may involve attending a university, moving to a more urban area, or even simply waiting tables at night to make ends meet. For some, there’s a significant other, or close friend that can always warrant a night of relaxation and comfort in tough times. What separates the bond between parent and child from partner and partner, is that the parent has an undeniable amount of experience unparalleled by the child. I may think that having to fight a homeless man with a shopping cart in the Target parking lot is a wild story, but that’s really nothing compared to hearing about how my parents decided it would be a fun date to scale an active volcano. We become so used to hearing these stories and the ostensibly placed advice that lies within that we seldom view it for what it really is: a gift. Not a gift in the sense that it should be unnecessarily cherished, but a gift in the sense that at any point it can be taken away.

The loss of a parent at a young or developing age is quite sobering to say the least. It’s one of the first steps in life to realizing just how valuable every single second can be. People fall ill, or become indisposed for short periods of time, but that isn’t too much to deal with, because they’ll be back eventually. Losing that secure sense that they’ll return is an entirely new feeling though, and presents its own issues. Think of a family as a table, and atop the table are the responsibilities and accomplishments incurred by said family. It may be thought that certain legs hold more structure, but everything works as a unit. The legs may become tarnished, or experienced some may say, but the table remains resolute. A leg vanishing entirely, however, leaves the structure in disrepair and bedlam, allowing for everything to fall and the structure to collapse. Because that’s what happens when you lose a fundamental part of your existence, things collapse.

When things do collapse it’s abrupt, and you find yourself lost. Something that has been an unbelievably important aspect of your life has suddenly stopped being an active role, for whatever reason it may be. As stated before, and at the risk of sounding cliche, the subduing event of having a parent pass away at a developmental stage is a reminder of just how important time really is. Not to confuse that statement with the notion that we should immediately rush to our families because “you never know what can happen”, because that’s not a healthy way to live. It’s about finding the balance between individuality and heritage - for any family members, I might add. At the ripe age of 19, I’ve aged well past my teenage angst period and began to realize more and more of the reality behind certain situations. Rebelling against my parents wishes was a necessary step, but I would most likely not do it again because, well, I don’t need to. I’m at a point in life where I’m out of the house and beginning to do my own thing. Getting caught up by all of this, I placed less emphasis on where I began and more on where I could be.

I’ve always been sharp on communication between my parents about what’s going on, where I’m heading, and just basically updating things. It’s a strange feeling though, not being able to continue updating, or only having to tell one person about my adventures. Having said that, it becomes more of a factor in my strive for success. In knowing that things that may seem impossible can occur, such as the loss of a parent, it becomes apparent that the converse is entirely possible as well. Where loss is found, growth is found elsewhere. In having to deal with situations that leave us uncomfortable and confused, we truly begin to grasp the concepts of reality. It is becoming more and more apparent that those who hold scars and face the greatest difficulty with sanguine resolution find more prosperity in success, no matter how little. The day that I graduate from college, attend law school, win a bodybuilding show, or witness the birth of my kin, will always be a result of my greatest downfalls meeting with my greatest effort.

The torch has been passed, and now it’s time for my own stories to be found, so that one day I too can tell my children of how I hiked on an active volcano, and decided that even though we may have lost a table leg, we never let a single object hit the ground.