As a black woman, you are as pretty as your hair. Every black girl and woman knows how important it is to have long hair. In the black community, long hair means that you are beautiful, attractive, feminine, and acceptable.
There is an unspoken rule not to cut your hair, and if you cut your, hair it’s seen as a stigma.
My hair has been long my whole life; to me I was only pretty if my hair was long. I myself come from a long line of good hair, my mother has long hair, my grandma had good hair, my sis, bro, and I have great hair (if I do say so myself). Growing up, I always felt if I wasn’t showing how long and thick it was, I wasn’t pretty. I tried my best to get it done often and wear it down a lot. But to be truthful, I hated wearing my hair down. It was itchy. But I figured, well, certain kinds of pains is beauty (or is it the other way around)?
Whenever I needed to cut off the split ends I would get angry, because of course that would be cutting off some of my length.
Once, I even had to cut it into a bob because of some damage from a dye job that just… smh…it didn’t work out. I spent two years growing it back out. If anyone knows, as a black person, it is very hard to grow hair out, it takes a lot of time, effort and braids (and I hated getting my hair braided).
Not only was I beautiful though, but boys liked girls with long hair. A guy I dated once told me he couldn’t date me if I cut my hair. I also saw how I was admired by all sexes and races (let me just say, I didn’t have hair down to my butt, just a good length of hair).
As I got older, I tended to keep my hair in buns or pony tails off my neck. And then it happened! I don’t know where it came from, but I suddenly wanted to cut my hair. Not into long layers or a bob, I wanted my hair cut and shaven. I craved it! For some reason, I knew a metamorphosis was taking place then. But I knew the only time a black woman cuts her hair is when she’s going natural*.
*The phrase “going natural” means it’s basically (for some) cutting off all your hair after years of having relaxers and damage to your hair, and starting over with healthy new hair.
But here’s the thing: I already had natural hair and healthy hair. The only time I had chemical in my hair is when I dyed it. I had great hair, so why would I cut it? I was pretty, I was even beautiful when I had it down. Who was I without it? Plus, I had no idea how my head would look (turns out I have a unique head, shaped like an egg).
It wasn’t until I saw a picture of a friend who had cut her hair. I was stunned, and to be honest, jealous. It took me a solid year to make the decision to cut my hair. I had talked to my hairstylist about it for years. It was only after my grandma passed away that I decided to do it. Now don’t get it twisted, I didn’t cut it because she died, or because I was in pain, or some crap like that. I did this because I finally had the guts. You see, my grandma was a fashionista - any hairdo you can think of, she had it! And I wanted to be like that: brave.
So I started cutting my hair in 2015, and then early 2016, went completely short. I can probably say at this moment I don’t even have half an inch of hair. And I like it that way, I feel more beautiful than I ever have in my entire life. I actually get a lot more compliments on how beautiful I look without hair, and how my short hair suits me (and I have a beautiful head shape)! But, with the good comes the bad.
What pisses me off is when I cut my hair, a lot of the black community had something to say. People asked me if I was going through something, was I sick, oh are you a lesbian (like cutting my hair had anything to do with my sexuality.) A co-worker said how would I find a husband? A customer asked me why would I do such a thing, and that I was so pretty before. (So, what, am I ugly now?) Why does it matter? I had been wanting to cut my hair for years. Why did it matter? It's hair, it will grow back. Sure it takes a minute, but you know…
I think to myself constantly, should I grow it back? But then before I even finish the thought, I get my clippers and cut it.
With my hair short, I felt stronger, edgier, at peace with what I looked like. What I loved most is that there was no hiding behind my hair, and no relying on it. It was weird, as soon as I got rid of the hair, I could suddenly dress myself, very well I must say.
Anyway, you can be beautiful with long hair, but I believe if you can rock short hair and long hair, then you are truly beautiful. Because let’s be honest, not everybody can pull short hair off!
No matter what, hair is hair. It will grow back…or it won’t? But so what, women are more than their hair. They should be able to do whatever they want to with it, without being criticized or scrutinized by the people around them and their community. Also, if a woman feels like the most beautiful woman in the world, who the hell are you to say she’s not?
Let me know what you guys think! Why do women rely on having long hair? Why is it considered a shame to cut it in the black community? I’m talking to all races and all sexes. What’s wrong with short hair? Why do certain men think a girl is only pretty if she has long hair? Comment below and tell me what your thoughts are!