One of the scariest things about going to college was leaving behind the person that knew literally everything about me. I met my best friend in middle school as a locker neighbor, and now she is one of the most important people in my life. We have cried together, shared so many memories, and I remember thinking that I really couldn't be more than a few miles from her. In high school, we became heavily dependent on each other. We bonded with each other in our issues with our divorced parents, and we both laughed at the stupidest things. We joke about us growing old together if we end up single and die in the same retirement home.
But we decided to attend different colleges, and deep down I thought that it was good for us to be apart so that we could each grow as individuals. I knew it was going to be especially hard for her as she has abandonment issues, and I knew I would get jealous if she met other friends and forgot about me. But surprisingly that didn't happen. Here's some things that I realized after being in a long-distance relationship with my best friend for 2 years now.
Even if you have been apart for a long time, everything will feel the same when you are back together.best friends hug GIF by Alex Bedder Giphy
It was the weirdest thing. I remember being worried that things would be different the first time I got back together with my best friend over Thanksgiving. But once I saw her, I was so relieved that I was back with my other half. There was no change, all there was was excitement to be with each other again. I have noticed with other people that sometimes their friends (especially if they get involved in sororities) often significantly change because they are surrounded by different types of people. This isn't necessarily bad, as people are bound to change, but in my case, I was so relieved that we had not become starkly different. We knew that we would never be able to find someone else that could beat our 7 year friendship or the tight bond we have.
You need to put in effortPick Up Iphone GIF by Katie Price Giphy
I am terrible, and I mean TERRIBLE about responding to people via my phone. It isn't like I am not on my phone 24/7, I am. But I easily get distracted, and I have been called out multiple times by my friends for this. Over the last two years, I have realized the importance of catching up with friends via FaceTime or through a quick call. In order to maintain the quality of the friendship with my best friend, I have to be texting her pretty constantly, and now we have developed the practice of constantly sending voice messages or videos back and forth where we can talk about things that happened to us throughout our day or just random things. It has become a key part of our friendship, and it is pertinent it stays that way. And even if there isn't that much to catch up with, a quick call is always a good idea.
When you are able to hang out, you need to hang out A LOTbest friends happy dance GIF by NETFLIX Giphy
When my best friend and I are home together, we are spending every moment of it together. There are many memories that can be made from moments at home, even if they aren't very exciting. During quarantine last summer, my friend and I had the spur-of-the-moment idea to camp in my backyard and watch Avatar. We then snuck out and watched the sunrise and drove around screaming to our favorite songs. I will never forget some of those times, and I will always appreciate them. Plan trips with your bestie, where you can both get some quality time together. Sometimes, the time we spent together was even more exciting because we knew that we wouldn't see each other for a while, and so we needed to do everything we wanted to do right then.
Always look to the futureSeason 4 Drinking GIF by Friends Giphy
Making future plans is always something to look forward to and to reminisce about. My best friend and I have promised to live in an apartment with each other in New York for the longest time. Every time we call, we talk about going to graduate school together and being able to explore the city together. Talking about dreams and aspirations for careers as well as general lifestyles is not only interesting, but it helps to think more about your friendship in the future, which is exciting and scary. Aligning these goals can help to plan and build excitement for the times you will be reunited with your bestie.
Reminisce the good ole' timesMonica Geller Dancing GIF by Friends Giphy
"Remember that time when you and I..." is always a good way to start a conversation about your complex past with your bestie. Connect and reestablish the times where you and your best friend were really enjoying one another's company. While is may be a bad idea to focus on the past too much, once in a while it is good to focus on when you really were happy to have your bestie involved in your life. Knowing how far back you two go and how much you have been through is should be well-known and acknowledged.
Don't get pettyjealous GIF Giphy
There are times when you may feel very separate and not involved in your best friends life. In college, it is impossible to know everything that is going on with someone that is so far away from you. College is a time to expand your horizons and meet new people. Sometimes you will feel like other people are becoming a big part of your friends life, and that's okay. It is normal to gain new friends and create separate communities within your college environment. What is critical is that you build a strong foundation with your best friend, and you never forget their importance in your life. Never EVER get mad or jealous that your friend is having fun without you, or doing normal college things without you. Although you may like to think that they should never get to experience anything without you, you are both in different communities now, and you have to understand that there are most likely times where your best friend has seen you doing college things and wishes that they could have done it with you. In the end, loving and understanding is essential in keeping a friendship strong.