Over the last year and couple months, my boyfriend and I have been working on figuring out how to work out a relationship while having to be three hours away and both being incredibly busy. Some background for you: I'm a full-time college student, and during the summer, I work full-time running a school-aged summer program. He is full time at the police academy until graduation next month (yay!) and at the Coast Guard reserves. Our schedules allow little time to visit and there are days where we don't get to talk very much until we both get home from work.
Here are some things I've found helpful to keep in mind when coping with long distance.
1. Develop a routine.
Early on in our relationship, we developed a routine naturally. One thing I always look forward to is the phone call from him on his way home from work. The little things that we take the time for every day are the things I always find myself looking forward to and noticing when it is disrupted.
2. Communicate and communicate well.
This was a big one for us simply because we don't get the chance to see each other very often, so communicating is a lot of what we have right now. It's also big for us because I have a lot of anxieties that play a role in my life and often effect my thought process, emotions, and feelings. Finding an efficient way to communicate is important to any relationship, but even more so when you are doing long distance.
3. Express any issues as they arise - don't put it off.
Again, this is true for any relationship, but when you're doing long distance and keeping your worries or doubts to yourself, it makes it much harder to handle not seeing each other and keep the romance alive (as cheesy as it sounds). I'm a frequent doubter (thank you anxieties) so being able to discuss these things with my boyfriend and work through them as they happen is so important for us to stay on the same page.
4. Be honest and don't hold things back.
Even if it is something small, being honest and open is so important to a relationship. If something is bothering you, talk about it. You never know, your significant other might be having the same concerns. If you keep it to yourself it is only going to eat you alive and burden you until you find the way to talk about it. Like I said previously since you aren't seeing your significant other very often during a long distance relationship, it is so important to keep the doors wide open and let them know what is on your mind.
5. Frequently express your gratitude for your significant other.
You're miles and miles apart. You have to express how you feel about your significant other. It means so much, especially on a particularly bad day, to hear affirmations from the one you love.
Overall, the best piece of advice I can offer you is to make sure you're dedicating the time necessary to do this for yourself and your significant other. It isn't always easy, so make sure it is the best decision for both of you and figure out the best way to accomplish your goals and wants and needs as a couple.
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