Logan Paul, How Dare You Make Suicide Into A Joke?

Logan Paul, How Dare You Make Suicide Into A Joke?

How dare you think that posting a DEAD BODY would "raise awareness for suicide and suicide prevention?"
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To Logan Paul,

I already sent you a tweet. I hope you read that or read this. I am truly disgusted.

I had no idea who you were before.

I only know you now as the guy who had a dead body in his video.

How could you think that vlogging in Aokigahara was even OK in the first place?

It is an incredibly solemn place where people go to die.

How could you think that posting that video would be okay as well?

In your Twitter apology you said that you got, “caught up in the moment,” but as Twitter user @meechonmars pointed out, you had to go through multiple steps to even get the video published!

You had ample time to think about what you were doing.

It wasn’t a “moment.”

Suicide is not a joke and should not be taken lightly. As somebody who has lost multiple people to suicide, including my own father, I understand that.

But you, Logan, obviously do not.

Your actions should have serious consequences.

I still cannot even fathom what you were thinking when you decided to click the “upload” button on your YouTube account.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: YouTube

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Yes, I Had A Stroke And I'm Only 20

Sometimes bad things happen to good people.
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Recently, I read an article on Cosmo that was written by a woman that had a stroke at the ripe old age of 23. For those of you who don't know, that really doesn't happen. Young people don't have strokes. Some do, but it's so incredibly uncommon that it rarely crosses most people's minds. Her piece was really moving, and I related a lot -- because I had a stroke at 20.

It started as a simple headache. I didn't think much of it because I get headaches pretty often. At the time, I worked for my parents, and I texted my mom to tell her that I'd be late to work because of the pain. I had never experienced a headache like that, but I figured it still wasn't something to worry about. I went about my normal routine, and it steadily got worse. It got to the point that I literally threw up from the pain. My mom told me to take some Tylenol, but I couldn't get to our kitchen. I figured that since I was already in the bathroom, I would just take a shower and hope that the hot steam would relax my muscles, and get rid of my headache. So I turned the water on in the shower, and I waited for it to get hot.

At this point, I was sweating. I've never been that warm in my life. My head was still killing me. I was sitting on the floor of the bathroom, trying to at least cope with the pain. Finally, I decided that I needed to go to the hospital. I picked up my phone to call 911, but I couldn't see the screen. I couldn't read anything. I laid down on the floor and tried to swipe from the lock screen to the emergency call screen, but I couldn't even manage that. My fine motor skills were completely gone. My fingers wouldn't cooperate, even though I knew what buttons needed to be pressed. Instead of swiping to the emergency call screen, I threw my phone across the room. "Okay," I thought, "Large muscle groups are working. Small ones are not".

I tried getting up. That also wasn't happening. I was so unstable that I couldn't stay standing. I tried turning off the running water of the shower, but couldn't move the faucet. Eventually, I gave up on trying to move anywhere. "At what point do I just give up and lie on the floor until someone finds me?" That was the point. I ended up lying on the floor for two hours until my dad came home and found me.

During that two hours, I couldn't hear. My ears were roaring, not even ringing. I tried to yell, but I couldn't form a sentence. I was simply stuck, and couldn't do anything about it. I still had no idea what was going on.

When the ambulance finally got there, they put me on a stretcher and loaded me into the back. "Are you afraid of needles or anything?" asked one EMT. "Terrified," I responded, and she started an IV without hesitation. To this day, I don't know if that word actually came out of my mouth, but I'm so glad she started the IV. She started pumping pain medicine, but it didn't seem to be doing anything.

We got to the hospital, and the doctors there were going to treat me for a migraine and send me on my merry way. This was obviously not a migraine. When I could finally speak again, they kept asking if I was prone to migraines. "I've never had a migraine in my whole life," I would say. "Do you do any drugs?" they would ask. "No," I repeated over and over. At this point, I was fading in and out of consciousness, probably from the pain or the pain medicine.

At one point, I heard the doctors say that they couldn't handle whatever was wrong with me at our local hospital and that I would need to be flown somewhere. They decided on University of Maryland in Baltimore. My parents asked if I wanted them to wait with me or start driving, so I had them leave.

The helicopter arrived soon after, and I was loaded into it. 45 minutes later, I was in Baltimore. That was the last thing I remember. The next thing I remember was being in the hospital two weeks later. I had a drain in my head, a central port, and an IV. I honestly didn't know what had happened to me.

As it turns out, I was born with a blood vessel malformation called an AVM. Blood vessels and arteries are supposed to pass blood to one another smoothly, and mine simply weren't. I basically had a knot of blood vessels in my brain that had swelled and almost burst. There was fluid in my brain that wouldn't drain, which was why my head still hurt so bad. The doctors couldn't see through the blood and fluid to operate, so they were simply monitoring me at that point.

When they could finally see, they went in to embolize my aneurysm and try to kill the AVM. After a successful procedure, my headache was finally starting to subside. It had gone from a 10 on the pain scale (which I don't remember), to a 6 (which was when I had started to be conscious), and then down to a 2.

I went to rehab after I was discharged from the hospital, I went to rehab. There, I learned simple things like how to walk and balance, and we tested my fine motor skills to make sure that I could still play the flute. Rehab was both physically and emotionally difficult. I was constantly exhausted.

I still have a few lingering issues from the whole ordeal. I have a tremor in one hand, and I'm mostly deaf in one ear. I still get headaches sometimes, but that's just my brain getting used to regular blood flow. I sleep a lot and slur my words as I get tired. While I still have a few deficits, I'm lucky to even be alive.

Cover Image Credit: Neve McClymont

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Our World Needs Us To Practice Suicide Prevention Every Day

This needs to be continuous, not just in September.

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September is here, and to correspond with World Suicide Prevention Day on September 10, a whole week is dedicated to spreading awareness of suicide, educating others about prevention and altering people about the warning signs of suicidal thoughts and tendencies. It also reduces the stigma surrounding the topic, as well as encourages people to both seek resources and support people who may have attempted suicide.

While all of this stuff is awesome to do, this is something that we should be doing every month. Why wait until September to show awareness? Show it every day! Be that friend who is there for someone who may need it the most, be kind to a stranger who may be having a bad day and/or post the number to the suicide hotline everywhere you go. Just be kind to one other; it is very needed, especially today.

Growing up, I didn't have many friends; being on the spectrum made that hard. There were times where I didn't want to be around anymore. I sometimes used to put on an act to let people know that I was okay, even though I wasn't deep down. I didn't even tell my own family that I was being bullied because I used to think it was all my fault. Sometimes I used to think that the world would be a better place if I wasn't there.

I'm here today. I'm engaged to a wonderful guy, attending university, going towards my dreams of writing and being a photographer, and I have amazing friends. I wouldn't have done all of that if I had taken my own life. Just know, guys, that you have so much to look forward to in life. A bad past does not have to mean a bad future. You have so much to live for.

Just know that you are not alone in this world and that there is always hope. If you or a friend are considering suicide, know the warning signs. Call for help, and be there for your friends. Just know that there is always hope out there.

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Other helpful resources:
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/get-help/hotline

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