Not many can relate, but those who can probably have similar experiences with their hearing loss regardless of their hearing loss frequency. Many having a hearing loss and do not even know it since it's so low of a loss. I learned a lot about significant hearing loss growing up. I found out I had senso-neuro loss and auditory processing disorder due to the hearing loss. There are different types of loss, like senso-neuro and conductive. For some clarification, senso-neuro loss occurs in the inner ear and most of the damage is to the auditory nerves and the cochlea. Conductive hearing loss is located in the middle ear and occurs from damage to the eardrum and surrounding parts. With age, loud music and etc., conductive hearing loss will likely occur for most. There are also different ranges of loss from mild to severe.

I believe the cause of my deafness in my left and half hearing in my right ear, is genetics on my grandmother’s side, but we will never quite know. My grandmother came to visit me in Quincy, Massachusetts and took me to the shore and I decided to climb up on a small post over the water, where I could easily have fallen into the water. From what I was told my grandmother was calling for me to come down, and I did not hear her. I was three when my mother decided to take me to an audiologist to get me tested and that’s when I got my first hearing aid, with the bulky mold and constant static. I used hearing aids from an early age and still use them today, but ones with better “Phonak” hearing technology. I spent many years in speech therapy to make sure my speech skills matched my grade level.

My school years were pretty much the same as most children’s were. Nothing truly isolating or traumatizing occurred from my hearing loss. I did learn that kids saw me differently since I had this clearly visible device in my right ear. I used an FM system to help me cancel out the sounds the students made so I could zone into what the teacher was saying. Over time I felt self-conscious about having to use the FM device, thinking the kids were making fun me for being different or handicapped, which honestly some of them were. I did suffer some bullying in my elementary, middle school and high school years. I think part of the bullying was from moving to a new school multiple times and not knowing anyone there. Some of the jokes I do remember were, “ can you hear me now?” or in a loud voice, “what? I can’t hear you." At the moment I am sure it was hurtful and now I realize they had the issues- not me.

In college, socializing was much easier to handle, people accept you for who you are and not by your limitations. I focused on school, socializing, and my future plans. In my class, since they were small I chose not to have the professors use the FM system, and honestly, they found the device odd and seemed to interfere with their lectures. I did learn that all my close friends in life and in college were loud people. I do not think I could be close to someone or communicate well with someone who talks softly. I get annoyed when I have to say, “can you repeat that?” multiple times in a day. Often when people try to get my attention and they fail to they think I am ignoring them and then I tell them “I’m sorry, I have hearing loss."

My hearing loss is a part who I am and has been since birth. Honestly, I am not sure what life would be like if I did not have a significant hearing loss. I know one day in the future of hearing loss research scientists will have come up with a procedure to repair the hearing of those with senso-nuero-loss and if and when I am deaf with due to hearing loss progression or old age. If so, then I might consider the procedure as an option, but for now, I am content with my hearing aid and occasionally saying “huh?” There is one perk of having a hearing loss, when I do not have my hearing aid in I can sort of zone out and choose not to try to hear when I do not want to. For those who think they might have a hearing loss, or find yourself saying “what” or losing bits and pieces of sound and words, you might have a mild or severe hearing loss to some range and I highly recommend seeing an audiologist or an ear nose and throat doctor to learn more.