It wasn't the life I would have chosen for myself, nor a lifestyle I always enjoyed.

Because the truth is I spent most of my time overseas wishing everything had been different. Wishing I was at a different school, living closer to family, or living in America.

I didn't feel like I could be a normal teenager and explore the feelings I had because I was either surrounded by adults, or by a small group of teenagers who were much different from me.

I spent so much of my life feeling like I was missing out.

To everyone, I was living this amazing lifestyle, that was so foreign and exciting when all I really wanted was normal.

I hated being labeled the missionary kid.

And I hated being asked what life was like for me because it only added to the fact that I was different.

All I wanted was to be American because I am American.

But I didn't live there.

And because I didn't live there, people tend to assume I'm foreign, telling me my English is so good as if it isn't my first language. And I hated it.

I hated people telling me I was so blessed because of where I lived.

I hated not getting to be around people who spoke the same language as me.

I hated that I always felt different no matter where I went.

I just wanted to live near my family members, to spend holidays with them. To go to homecoming dances and live across the street from my friends. To watch Disney Channel, and be apart of the culture I was supposed to be a part of.

But I didn't.

And I felt robbed, misunderstood, and discontent.

The mission field ruined my life because it wasn't the life I would have chosen, it wasn't what I wanted, it made me feel odd and separated from everyone else.

To the Americans, I wasn't American, and to the Europeans, I wasn't European, so who was I?

I didn't live the life I wanted,

because I lived the life God had intended for me.

I didn't get to go to a high school with millions of other kids to blend in with, I was forced into a small school where my personality stood out. And it forced me to find myself.

I didn't get to live in the same home my whole life and live in driving distance from my extended family. But instead, I was given multiple families. In different countries, in different areas, of all ages. Who I would never have met if life had gone according to my "plan."

And I am thankful.

Life was by no means easier, and boy did I have a lot of resentment but thank God my life didn't go my way.

Because who knows how that would have been.

We like to think we know what we want, but what we want isn't always good for us.

God had a much different plan, and I know I would never be who I am if it wasn't for how I was raised, and where I lived.