Living In The Moment

Living In The Moment

Don't think about mistakes in the past and thoughts of the future. Live in the present and create memories.
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The past is a curious thing. Have you ever caught yourself dwelling over something you did or didn’t do? Have you done things that you wish you haven’t done, things that you are now regretting? What about the opportunities that were open to you, and you didn’t take them? We have all done things in the past that we are not proud of or we regret doing them. Why dwell over them now? It only makes us feel guiltier about what we did, maybe we feel as if the more we think about it, we could learn from it. Is that really the case though? I feel as if we do it because if we fix what we did in our past in our conscience, we will be able to free ourselves from the burden of what we have done. I will be the first to admit that I have done things that I am not proud of and at moments, I dwell and think about them over and over again. We all do it, it’s a human thing.

Normally, if we aren’t thinking about the past, we tend to think about the future. We fantasize about what waits ahead of us in life. Typically, we see ourselves in our dream job and have a perfect family. That is all great that you think about what lies ahead of you. Although, sometimes dreams change and it takes a while for a family. I like to think of life is like a roller coaster, it is full of ups and downs. The part that stinks is when you don’t know what life is going to throw at you next. It definitely has tricks up its sleeve. Even when you think that nothing is going to work out in your favor to get to the future you imagined, just remember the roller coaster has to lead somewhere. Possibly somewhere where you are much happier. Being open for opportunities is definitely crucial in a wild ride such as this one that you are on. Everything happens for a reason.

While we are dwelling over the past and dreaming of the future, something feels like it is missing, doesn’t it? Well, if yes was your answer, you are correct! You are missing the present! The present moment is the most important one. Memories are made, time spent with family and friends are priceless moments, etc. These are times that if you miss, can’t be regenerated at another time. Distinct details and fun moments are what makes life great! Why miss out on it? It’s the little things that are remembered that make life worth it. Yes, it is okay to think about the past and the future, but don’t forget to live in present times. This is the time to make those memories. It is a wild ride, so let’s hang on and have some fun!

Cover Image Credit: Sabrina Miller

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved
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To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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Arguing for Assholes: Manipulating Your Audience

Appealing to your audience made easy

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Whether you are writing a persuasive paper for finals week, or just trying to convince your family to let you wear what you want, you should know what kind of argument to make to best suit the situation. How you argue can make the difference between convincing your audience or ostracizing them. Here are the three types of appeals you can make when arguing, and when they are best used.

1. Logos

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Definitions:

1. A logical appeal: convincing an audience through logic and reason

2. The rational principle that governs and develops the universe (relating to philosophy)

'Logos' is the Greek word for, well, 'word'. It can be more accurately described as the word through which inward thought is expressed, or inward thought itself. The word 'logic' is derived from 'logos'.

Logical arguments can include:

- Cited facts and statistics

- Historical and literal analogies

- Quotes from authorities on the subject

- Advanced language

- Logical arguments

Related Words:

Discourse, justification, order, reason, thought, to speak, word

2. Ethos

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Definitions:

1. An ethical appeal: the moral element that determines a person's actions (instead of their thoughts or emotions)

2. The underlying character of a culture that informs their beliefs and customs as a group (relating to sociology)

'Ethos' is the Greek word for 'character'. The word 'ethic' is derived from 'ethos'.

Ethical arguments can include:

- Convincing people of the speaker's credibility/character

- Sounding fair and unbiased

- Introducing expertise and education on topics

- Appealing to people's morals

- Proper level of vocabulary for audience

- Language appropriate for the audience and topic

- Ethical arguments

Related Words:

Beliefs, code, culture,ethics, principles, values

3. Pathos

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Definitions:

1. An emotional appeal: evoking a feeling of pity, sympathy, or compassion by appealing to emotions

2. Invoking sympathy from an audience to make others feel what the author wants them to feel

3. The quality or power in an actual life experience in forms of expression that evokes emotion

'Pathos' is the Greek word for 'suffering/experience'. The words 'empathy' and 'pathetic' are derived from 'pathos'.

Emotional arguments can include:

- Emotional tones

- Emotional examples and events

- Implied meanings

- Meaningful language

- Emotional arguments

Related Words:

Emotion, feeling, passion, pity, poignancy, sentiment, suffering

Next time you want your parents to treat you like an adult, tell them all the logical proof that you've been acting like one. If a friend is making you feel guilty about being a vegan, use ethical appeals to explain to them. If your sibling is making you feel unloved, use emotional arguments to show them how you feel. All of these types of arguments have their time and place, and knowing how to use them can change the outcome for you.

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