Disclaimer: This isn't some sympathy article, this is simply an article to show that just because you can't see it doesn't mean that I don't have a disability.
I'm halfway across the quad when my stomach––or more accurately my intestines––spasms, and I know that my next class is going to last ten times as long as usual. I automatically run through what I've eaten for the day in order to figure out the culprit of this sudden attack. It's only 11:00 so it must be the muffin I had for breakfast, the same type of muffin that didn't bother my system yesterday. The combination of Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Crohn's disease has made these occurrences the norm, so I'm used to the symptoms that range from cramping to nausea to the things that aren't what I like to talk about. Most of the time the attacks are something you learn to power through––anyone with this disease or one like it will tell you that––but there are the debilitating ones that knock you on your ass. Today I was lucky it was minor.
The symptoms can be hard to deal with, yes, but you don't really complain anymore. Even the people that know about them have to hold back from rolling their eyes when you say you have a stomachache. In their minds, who can have daily stomach pain? It becomes an inconvenience for them when you back out of something because you don't feel well. Believe me, I feel badly every time, and I know it's frustrating. Each time I have to tell someone I can't go because I'm sick, it feels like an excuse, so I go to things and pretend I'm fine because that's what you're supposed to do.
I know this sounds like I'm blaming others and complaining––I guess I am complaining––but I'm not blaming others, I'm blaming the illness. You can't see that when a really bad attack hits, I feel like I'm going to vomit from the pain. It's not fair to put that on you. I wouldn't want you to experience it, however, it is hard to live a normal life when you are stopped by something people can't see.
This article isn't about just my disease though. People walk around with all sorts of things that we can't see; think about it, if you or someone you know suffers from depression or anxiety or any mental illness, the outside world can't see it. The fact that the world can't see it doesn't mean that it isn't a struggle––it just means that it is harder for other people to understand. Most people know in theory that everyone is dealing with things that we can't see, but we sometimes forget when it starts to become repetitive or inconvenient. Again, I'm not blaming anyone, because I do it too. I just wanted to remind everyone that we are all just doing the best that we can.