Okay, so maybe "boonies" (short for "boondocks") is a bit of a strong word. When I hear boonies, I think of the beginning of Pete's Dragon where Pete escapes the Gogans with the help of Elliot. You know, that one part with the dense underbrush and thick mud that basically suffocates the scene? I always thought those were the boonies; that is, until all my friends drove out to visit me and every single one called it some variation of "middle of nowhere." I'm not saying they were entirely incorrect, but hell if it didn't make me rethink where I was raised.

I'm from a small town in Connecticut which while you might think it's fairly civilized, you don't know about the outskirts. Even though we're only 15 minutes away from an international airport, the overwhelming majority of our town is dominated by a 4,400 acre game refuge that hosts a battery of wildlife ranging from the purposefully migraine-inducing woodpecker to the concerningly massive black bear.

If you ever see a CT news report for a black bear sighting, it'd be safe to say the footage is from my town.

To be completely frank, the bears aren't as big an issue as you'd think -- they're basically massive raccoons with more teeth and less of a temper (just spray your trash cans down with ammonia, and your lawn won't be covered in torn trash bags every Tuesday). The real monsters of Northern Connecticut are far more devious and damaging. You know Bambi? Yeah, he goes by a few different names here: monster, cretin, muncher, deviant -- I'd go on, but it just becomes a bit unfair. Basically, deer tend to eat anything they possibly can. I've even seen one eat a thorn bush before, thorns and all. They're crazy. It sort of makes any type of lawn care near impossible, so if you ever see anyone in the "boonies" with some semblance of landscaping, you ought to respect the hell out of them, because they've faced the devil and escaped victorious.

All that wildlife combined with our twisting, dipping roads makes for an interesting driving experience as well.

Animals of all sorts become hellraisers who dive into the road at very inconvenient moments to bestow heart attacks a-plenty. You don't know how many times I've had to swerve to avoid deer, bikers, runners, joggers, walkers, dogs, horses, and porcupines. (Yes, porcupines.) I'm not even going to get into the crazy bird lady. Not touching that one with the ten-foot pole she carries around as either a selfie or walking stick. Combining all these different rogue elements makes me stand by my belief that new drivers from my town are some of the best. You don't know driving pain until you've had to swerve to avoid a dead squirrel and horse droppings in the same three feet.

I will say that ignoring the animal droppings and carcasses, our community does take in some tourists due to its numerous scenic roads and picturesque landscapes. At heart, though, we're more or less an agricultural community with a penchant for growing things. Coming to a grand total of 41 separate farms spanning across our town (yeah, you read that right: 41), it would be a massive disservice to ignore their existence entirely. I love the number of farms in the area, don't get me wrong -- they're great to visit and buy organic ingredients (even though you can really only do it once a week since it can be expensive as all hell). I grew up within a two-mile radius of three separate horse farms, for Pete's sake, so of course, I thought this multitude of farms was normal. Answer? Not really, but that isn't going to stop me from rolling up to the Garlic Farm and roaming the crates for the best garlic available without an ounce of abandon or shame. Not to brag, but it involves a curious amount of lunges and a couple instances of moonwalking -- almost a bit of a tribal dance, but it works every time.

So my answer to those who say that I "live in the boonies?" I'll say that the lack of cell service due to the mountain in our backyard can be annoying, and many other aspects certainly get on my nerves, but would I want to live anywhere else? Well, maybe, but it was definitely a fun place to grow up in; where else would it be acceptable to spread coyote urine in your garden and spray your trash cans with Windex on the same day?