She was pressured.

Pressured by the media, by music, by people and people's expectations.

By time and the unrelenting reality of time. The one thing in life you will never get back.

But most of all, she was pressured by fear.

Fear of the unknown, the regrets that might catch up with her, the things that were left undone.

Fear that who she was, was not enough and that no matter her efforts, they would not measure up.

to the models and the numbers. The money and materials it could buy.

Fear of the people that always seemed on top, to the lies everyone lived by and the ones she told herself.

The pressure made things twisted, confused importance with ignorance.

So things started to change, she changed.


She set fire to her lungs, answers in empty bottles, distraction over connection.

She saw value in price tags and pictures and things.

The objects that never made her heart sing.

Learning attraction to be love,

she soon fell in love with attraction.

Meaningless words and people and poses.

It seemed like love was not real, but a four letter word for getting what you wanted.

Convinced happiness was a destination,

that someday she would get there.

That someday was filled with all things she worked so hard to bear.


She was taught to feel from the outside - told it was easy, to look at the things you see.

Sadly, emotions just get tricky.

Her memories felt fleeting, each day they became more fragile.

Lost in a sea of wants over haves, jealousy over needs.

Who she was and what she wanted masked under inhibiting moments,

inhibiting pressure.

The more life that passed, the more answers seemed unclear

and as time allowed more change, she no longer valued time.

The one thing you can never get back.


She put expense into things, into clothes, and diamonds, and lies.

But when she was alone she wondered who saw her, underneath all the things only money could buy.

The world told her to try harder, work longer, and win more,

but only if she could lie, deceive, and be unbearably torn.


She thought about the media, the music, the people and the people's expectations.

She thought about time and the unrelenting reality of time. The one thing in life you will never get back.

But most of all, she thought about fear.

Fear of the unknown, the regrets that might catch up with her, the things that were left undone.

Fear that who she was, was not enough and that no matter her efforts, they would not measure up.

As she sank to the bottom of a pool she became weightless.


She looked back on the person she once was

before the world told her what to do, who to be, how to see.

She looked in the mirror and she saw the person she thought she'd never be.

There,

the person she thought she lost,

was looking back

and the pressure

was gone.