To My Little Sister:
I would cry every night, begging Mom and Dad for you, and when you finally came I was overjoyed with emotion. I was finally a big sister. But, little did I know this would mean so much more to me over the years.
I think being five years older than you has made our relationship special. When we were younger, I could take care of you. But, I couldn’t relate to you; you wouldn’t understand what was going on in my mind.
As we both grew older, we were able to relate to each other more and more. We could talk to each other about school, boys, our parents... everything and anything. I appreciated this so much.
But, I don’t think it was until college that I realized how much you actually meant to me. I don’t think we realized how much we meant to each other. I remember one of the first nights we were away from each other you sent me this text:
“Okay well tonight when Ava was yelling at me, I got really upset and I was on my way downstairs to talk to you and then I realized you weren’t here, you were at your home. I realized we don’t have the same home anymore. I realized how much I missed having a person I could laugh with about irrelevant stuff. I missed fighting with you. I missed running to your car after school so I wouldn’t have to take the bus. I’m happy for you, I really am. And I’m glad that you’re happy and having a blast. But right then, in that very moment, I needed to talk to you, only you. And you weren’t there because you were home.”
When I read that message, I cried. I completely lost it. I think through all the years of fighting and yelling at each other for random reasons, we failed to realize how much those moments meant. And as much as I wish, I wouldn't have taken these moments for granted, I think that's kind of the point of being sisters. Nothing would be the same if we didn't fight with each other until we had no choice but to laugh at each other.
That five-minute drive to school with you seemed so insignificant, but those are the moments I miss the most. I miss all our pointless conversations, I miss all the fights. I miss you.
But, I want you to know we will always have the same home. I am not gone forever, and I will continue to bother you. You will continue to bother me. We will continue to fight and we will continue to make memories that will last a lifetime.
No matter where we go in life, we will always have each other. I promise.
Your big sister