I'll never forget the day I found out I was going to become a big sister. I was four and my heart was broken-- no more being an only child, no more undivided attention. I prayed that I would get a baby sister, and then I found out... it was a boy.
Round two, I'm going to be a big sister for the second time. I was nine and had a four-year-old baby brother who I loved to death, but annoyed me endlessly. This time, I even helped pick out the names, I, of course, picked the best girl name I could think of. And then came the day that we found out the gender... another boy.
Round three, this was absolutely my last chance for a little girl. Two little brothers were enough, and I desperately needed someone to play Barbies with and go shopping alongside. My heart sunk as I got the call and heard the news, "you're getting another baby brother!" No. Way.
Eventually, my bitterness turned into love for those three little boys. I accepted the fact that I was never going to have a baby sister, but over time, that became okay with me. Smelly, loud, and annoying -- that's what my childhood consisted of. But I always got to be the boss, so it made it all a little better. Through the years, I watched them grow and change and become their own unique people. I might've been a little disappointed, but those kids are the three most important people in my life now
You guys might be taller and stronger than me now, but to the three boys that made me into who I am today, here's what I need you to know:
1. I need you to know that, as your big sister, it will always, always be my job to protect you.
From the time that you were born, I made it my mission to always keep you from being sad. When you were a baby and crying, I would hold you and try to make you smile. When you were 5 and skinned your knee from wrecking your bike, I sprinted to be by your side until Mom could get there to make it better. When you were 10 and came home from school in tears because someone was picking on you, I felt my stomach drop and swore that I would do anything to take the pain away if I could. Every round of stitches, every unreasonable football tackle made onto you, every time someone let you down, every heartbreak, and every bad grade. I promise to protect you from the pain, and for the times that I cannot take the pain away, I promise to eat chocolate ice cream with you until it feels a little better.
2. I need you to know that there isn't one thing in this world that I wouldn't do for you.
I would drop anything, do everything, or be anywhere if you needed me. No matter what time, how much it costs, or how far away. That's what big sisters are for.
3. I need you to know that I'm proud of you.
I have watched you take your first steps, mutter your first words, and been there for your first day of kindergarten. I have watched you grow and have learned every little characteristic that makes you, you. I am proud of the person you have become—respectful, caring, and hilarious (you get that from your big sister). The only thing cooler than having you as a little brother is knowing my kids are going to have you as an uncle.
4. I need you to know that I regret telling on you so much when we were younger.
I regret all the times that we fought and the years we spent hating each other. When you grow up and move out and only see your little brothers a few times a month, you learn to appreciate the time you have together so much more. I wish we hadn't spent so many nights arguing, I wish I would've been on your side more, and I wish I didn't tell on you when you were up way past your bedtime without Dad knowing. I wish we spent those years getting along instead of fighting (although some of those fights were pretty funny).
5. I need you to know that you are my built-in lifelong best friend.
No matter where life takes us, where we live, or how busy we are with our own lives, I promise to never stop asking how you are doing. Every single memory I have of my childhood, you are in it; the good, the bad, and the ugly. All of the beach trips, pillow forts, and Christmas mornings. The sandcastles and the snow forts, the nights that we would stay out too late swimming because it was finally summer, the many, many times that we got in trouble together. The Easter egg hunts and the sleepovers. You are in all of it. You will always be my best friend in the entire world.