Bruce Lee once said, "Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them."
I am not perfect nor have I ever claimed to be. Hundreds of people have come in contact with me in my short 20 years of living. However, I do not think there has been anyone else that I have hurt quite as badly as you.
We met when I was completely unsure of where to go. During this pivotal point in my life, you were always a listening ear and a huge positive influence. Every single time something would go wrong, you would be the one I called. No matter how busy you were, you would listen to me and give advice.
Despite the amazing friend you were, I would always treat you as if you were nothing more than a stranger. Every time you needed me to step up and be a better friend, I would push you away. When you could not turn to anyone else because you only trusted me, I failed you. Saying sorry will never be enough.
I pray for you almost every day. During my prayers, I pray for all of the things I want for you.
I want you to wake up one day next to the love of your life. I hope they make you pancakes and never lie or cheat. I hope when you look at them you understand why it never worked out with anyone else.
One day, I hope you are extremely successful and all of the people who claimed they were your friends come back to try to get something from you. I hope you turn them away like they did to you when you needed them most.
I want all of your exes to realize what they gave up when they did you wrong. I hope one or two of them call you, begging for you to take them back. However, at this point, you will already have the love of your life. I want you to hang up the phone and smile.
I want you to learn to love yourself. You are a kind, funny and generous human. When you look in the mirror I want you to be happy with what you see on the outside. Most importantly, I want you to be satisfied knowing you have a heart of gold.
Despite how much you want to see the best in people, I want you to stop letting people walk all over you. You let me do this to you and because of that, I hurt you more than I ever wanted to. I want you to start sticking up for yourself and to only let people back in your life when they are really, truly sorry.
Most importantly, I want you to run into me one day. When our lives are both together and I can forgive myself for what I did to you. At this point, I hope all of my other prayers have come true. I hope when we see each other we can have small talk and leave with smiles on our faces.
You have impacted my life more than you could ever know. I'm sorry I could not be the friend you needed me to be. However, I know you are going to end up successful and happy one day.
Harriet Beecher Stowe once said, "The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone." I did not want this to never be written and hope it finds its way to you somehow.
Thank you for everything and I'm truly sorry.