I am not a religious person.

Once, long ago, I was. Maybe. I was young, my family went to church semi-regularly, and then one day we stopped. No questions were asked, and we never looked back. I wasn't jaded by the church. I have no hard feelings towards people who are religious. I respect them. I admire them.

But I was never one of them.

I am not one of them.

I often don't give my life sans religion a second thought. It's just a part of who I am. Recently, though, my thinking was turned on its head.

I have a close friend who likes to challenge me. He likes to get the wheels turning in my head; wants me to explain everything to him in detail. I'm used to his curve ball questions by now, but a few weeks back we somehow ended up on the topic of religion.

"Do you believe in God, Hanna?"

It was out of the blue, and, I'll admit, a bit startling. I can't remember a time other than this when someone straight out asked me this question. It was so blunt, and I felt so insecure.

After a moment of hemming and hawing, (anyone who knows me well knows I make rather odd and indescribable noises when I'm thinking hard) I sputtered out: "I...I don't know. I don't know if I do."

He was like a boomerang. He was ready to hit again. "Okay, so how to you base your morals?"

"What do you mean?" It was nearly two in the morning, I was groggy and confused. I needed some explanation.

"Well, some people use their religion as guidance in their life. It helps them figure out what is right and what's wrong. It helps them live their life. How do you find guidance?"

I had never thought about religion in that light before. How it can help a person to see things clearly, distinguish their beliefs and create their path. By not following a religion, had I missed out on that part of life? In a sense, perhaps I did. At least, a version of it. But his questioning really forced me to think. It really made me wonder...where did I find that sort of guidance?

Was it in my parents? Learning from their past, discovering their purpose, following their passions and creating their lives?

Was it in my friends? Making unique mistakes, taking things one day at a time, learning how to be independent, and wishing the cares of looming adulthood away?

Was it in the struggles of everyday life? The strangers who populate the world? The time it takes to get up in the morning and start my day? The last sip in my cup of coffee? The humidity in July, the below freezing temperatures in January?

Maybe it was in the laugh after a good joke, your favorite song on the radio, or the feeling you get right before you fall asleep.

And then I realized: it's in everything.

The world is what guides me. The breaking news stories, the random acts of kindness, the people I love and the people I have yet to meet.

Because to me, guidance is like a good rain shower. When the rain drops fall, there's nothing you can do about it. You just have to wait out the storm. But when it clears, your mind opens up. You are renewed. I take from that. Like rain, I renew. I take my chances, I do what I think is right. Not everything will work out, but I will not let myself falter.

It can be hard in this crazy world to find something that you can hold onto. Something to believe in, and something to give you hope. What that particular thing is depends on the person. But when you find it, you know. You'll renew, like rain.