I’m one of the most straightforward and blunt people who you will ever meet. I’m not afraid to tell it like it is, even if it means hurting your feelings a bit in the process. That’s why it saddens me that I’ve changed over the past year. It’s not that I’m no longer upfront about things, it’s that I’m scared.

Vulnerability isn’t always a bad thing. It means that you’re comfortable with the person, situation, or whatever it may be. However, there are times when being vulnerable will come back to bite you in the ass and that’s why I’m scared. While I’m also quite possibly the most stubborn person who you’ll ever meet, that’s not the only reason why I’ve redirected our conversations or ignored your comments every time when feelings have been mentioned. I’m not an advocate for hiding your emotions and feelings, but I’ve been through this so many times before that I just don’t want to get hurt again. So, for now, this is the way that it’s going to be. Thatiswhy I won’t say that I like hanging out with you. Once I do, your opinion and feelings about me will change. If I let my guard down, you’ll no longer enjoy the chase and, sadly, that’s when you’ll stop trying and caring about me.

I’m not exactly sure what you want, but, to be fair, I don’t know what I want right now either. I’m kind of just playing life by ear and having fun. I no longer have any expectations when it comes to moments like this because of how terribly disappointing some people can be. I’m sorry that my past experiences have consequently affected you as well. I just need to make sure that you won’t hurt me before I jump.

Do I enjoy watching and talking sports with you? Yes, I do. Do I like the fact that I can playfully insult you and wait for you to dish it right back? Of course I do.

So, you’re right. I do like hanging out with you and this is me admitting it. You win.