"Hey, I miss you! Wanna hang out?"
This is a message I frequently send but rarely receive. It seems like I usually reach out to everyone, but people rarely reach out to me.
It can be pretty frustrating sometimes.
I get that people are busy living their own lives, but it can be pretty difficult to always be the one to reach out first.
I put a lot of effort into my friendships, and I'm always finding reasons to go see the people I love.
I just wish they would do the same for me.
Most of the time, it seems like if I don't text my friends first, then I won't hear from them at all.
It's pretty defeating.
Do the people in my life even care about me? Do I even cross their mind?
Do they even want to see me even when they agree to my hangout plans?
Sometimes I think about what would happen if I simply stopped reaching out to the people in my life.
Would I ever hear from them again? Would I be accused of ghosting despite their lack of reciprocation?
Maybe I'm just getting in my own head, but I can only go off of experience.
So how do I get around this feeling of being unappreciated, you ask?
Answer: I remind myself how much I love the people in my life, and we all have different ways of showing how much we love each other.
I remind myself that I'm much more extroverted than most of my friends, which means I don't need much free time. However, some people need more time to themselves.
I also remind myself that not everyone has the same love language. Mine is quality time, but most of my friends have different love languages.
Since my love language is quality time, I feel most unappreciated when the people in my life don't prioritize our get-togethers as much as I do.
However, it works both ways. Sometimes I don't meet them halfway either. Maybe they'd prefer a gift, a hug, an uplifting message or a thoughtful act such as helping them with their grocery shopping.
I know that if I'm constantly keeping score in my friendships, I'll never be satisfied.
It does get pretty discouraging sometimes, but I have to remind myself the people in my life are more important than keeping tally of everyone's level of reciprocation.