I'm not anywhere near where I thought I'd be in my life right now.

I graduated high school 2 years ago and at that point if you were to ask me where I'd be in two years, I'd tell you I would've just finished my sophomore year as a business management student at the University of Northern Colorado. I'd tell you that I would be in a sorority that I loved and that I would be either engaged or married to the guy I dated for a long time in high school. I would've told you that I'd be starting to looking into what I needed in order to apply for graduate school at the University of Maryland.

If you asked me a year ago where I'd be in a year, I would've told you I would have just finished my first semester at the University of Colorado Boulder as a psychology student. I'd tell you I'd be going into my junior year. I'd tell you that I would be preparing for field training (or at field training already) as an Air Force ROTC cadet.

The truth is, I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be a year ago and definitely not even close to where I thought I'd be when I graduated high school. Life has a crazy way of changing and guiding us down a different path than we originally planned.

So, let's see. No, I'm not a business management student at UNC anymore. No, I did not love my original sorority, in fact it made a lot of things worse for me. No, I am not engaged or married to the guy I dated in high school—in fact that breakup was for the better. No, I am not even focused on graduate school right now. No, I'm not at CU Boulder—in fact I had to withdraw at the very end of my semester there because my mental health got so bad. No, I'm not going into my junior year. No, I am not going to field training like I was supposed to…in fact I'm no longer a cadet.

I'll admit it, these days it's been hard seeing everyone from my graduating class celebrating being halfway done with college. It's been hard knowing that I'm almost an entire year behind everyone and the chances of me graduating May 2021 is very, very slim. Most recently, it's been hard seeing my ROTC cadet friends preparing and going off to field training—some just started training this week in fact.

I know that I'm guided down this path in life for a reason. I can focus on the negatives and the 'failures' as I call them, but with lots of reflection I've come to realize I'm exactly where I need to be. I have a wonderful, loving husband that I couldn't imagine my life without. He's exactly who I need and want in my life. I wouldn't be able to say that if I had still been with the guy from high school (who by the way was an abusive jerk). He and I are even welcoming our first (and I swear it'll be our only) child in just about 3 months (and yes, he was planned). I'm trying to go back to school within the next couple of months, but if not the fall. I'll be able to finish school eventually, just maybe not exactly when I had hoped and I'm starting to accept that that's okay. Also, if I really wanted to, I can still enlist in the Air Force, I just can't be an officer.

I know that there are a lot of people judging me for the new path I'm going down. There is a lot of judgement for me having a son this young, being married this young, but what really matters is that I am happy with that…and I am. I do, and will continue to, have days where I feel disappointed in myself, but I know I'm exactly where I need to be.