03 January 2018 // At Disney College Program

Every Lifetime Christmas Movie Ever

I've seen this plot before, but I'm sure as all heck watching it again!

Kennady Cantrell

It's Christmastime, which means it's time to break out the old classics such as It's a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, Christmas Vacation, etc. It also means that it's time for my mother and I's favorite holiday tradition of binge watching all of the cheesy Lifetime Christmas movies the channel has to offer.

Oh Lifetime, you really know how to make a change in personality for the holidays. Instead of your usual depressing crime story retellings you instead give us fantastic romantic films with the exact same plot every time. Except a few, aka the one where you have an actual snowman come to life and fall in love with a lady (and yes that's real). Trust me I love them with all of my heart but I can perfectly summarize what happens in each of them:

Meet the female protagonist! She's either that one chick from that one thing you saw in the 90's

(Ashley from Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Michael from Roswell)

or..she's a complete newcomer.

She absolutely loves Christmas.

Or....she hates it and there's a secret behind it.

With the holidays coming up she has an event that she's looking forward to that gets her all caught up in the drama. In fact she'll get so caught up that her best friend, that has this type of personality:

will have to tell her things like, "When are you gonna settle down?" or "Sweetie you need a break".

The main character, then meets her love interest in a meet cute that's forcibly awkward.

Once it comes to date time they start to talk about what the holidays were like for them as kids, you know like you do on casual first dates, and the female protagonist will bring up a precious and oddly specific family tradition she has from her family.

The guy then usually responds with

"Oh my gosh that's so weird! I know no one who does that".

Drama soon starts to ensue with the big event causing the protagonist to get stressed whilst she still manages to flirt with her one date love interest. Cue a montage!

This will include the couple then doing cute and cheesy things with the montage ending on the man doing that one specific tradition with the protagonist and she happy cries saying "Thank you for making me believe in Christmas again"

Suddenly, whats this! Oh no a misunderstanding happens between the couple, and now she's walking away crying as the love interest stands there looking forlorn.

Cue another montage of all the happy times they had,it was a magical 3 days they spent together.

Eventually, most likely the next day, the protagonist gets over her love interest and moves on with her best friend to finish up the event she's planning for claiming to be a "strong, independent woman now"

Finally the big event arrives and what's this? There's a tall dark stranger in the back watching the protagonist do whatever it is she does best. Why I believe it's the love interest who's come to apologize, who would've saw that coming?

The protagonist and quirky best friend spot the love interest and the friend offers to give him a talkin' too but the protagonist has to hold her back

She says that she will go talk to him and tell him to leave.

Shocker he doesn't though. They end up apologizing to each other and make up, finding their relationship once again rekindled and possibly a proposal is included.