Change, Acceptance And Good Riddance

Change, Acceptance And Good Riddance

The three easy steps to a more fulfilling life experience.

When you feel a negative way towards a situation, whether it be resentment, jealousy, anger, sadness, or even loneliness, you have three options. In the wise words of Eckhart Tolle, you can either change it, accept it, or get rid of it.

This past week, I have done all three.

There were days I felt so anxious I nearly had full blown panic attacks. I kept trying to convince myself that everything was alright, that I didn't need to be stressed. But, ultimately, I couldn't 'control' my anxiety, which ended up making me feel more anxious in the end.

After a 10+ hour day at the library with no food breaks or interruptions, I finally had this epiphany, and this is how everybody can use it to their own advantage.

The Three Rules of Life

1. Change It

This is the first route you should always take while going about any negative situation.

Sit down with a paper and make a list of at least five realistic ways a situation could be tweaked to benefit yourself. Selfish, I know, but being selfish isn't always a bad thing.

Take an idea or two from your list, and put it into action.

For example, I was anxious about the upcoming article due (the article you are reading right now) and I wondered if I could change the situation in a simple way to benefit myself.

So I went out on a limb and asked for an extension.

And just like that, I had an extra two days to write this, plus room to breathe. Not only did I feel relieved instantly, but because I was able to relax, it gave way to natural inspiration.

(The text you are reading now is entirely attributed to the emotional novel of an iMessage I sent to my mom at midnight on a Tuesday.)

Another situation I found myself in, was that I wasn't giving nearly enough time or attention to my position on a school dance team. I loved it, I just honestly did not have enough time for it.

So I quit.

...Okay, a little dramatic, in reality I just handed my position over to another girl on the team. But now instead of having a job, I can go back to just taking and enjoying dance classes, free of responsibility.

It can be hard to say no sometimes, but it is absolutely necessary.

Now, changing a situation won't always work. You can definitely try to convince your professor to bump your grade up, but some of us know all too well how impossible that can be.

When there is no way to change a situation, the only action you can then take is to change your outlook on it.

And that gives way to the next step in this life-changing process..

2. Accept It

Acceptance can be tough. You have to allow yourself to detach your identification of a person/event with the negative thoughts surrounding it.

A simple way to help this process is to make a list of all the positive ways a situation is benefitting you.

For example, I wrote down the classes I am having the hardest time with. Then, under each class, I wrote as many reasons I could think of as to why it is benefitting me, either now or in the long run.

It gave me a new perspective and it was easy to release some of stress I was feeling, knowing now that getting 100% on every assignment will be trivial at the end of the day.

When you stop resisting something, that something will stop persisting.

That is to say, if all you can think about is the fact that you should not think about something, you are still giving all your power to that unwanted thought.

When you can realize that you are having that thought and accept its place in your mind, you are creating space between you and the negativity surrounding that thought.

This week, I had to accept the fact that my anxiety was normal.


Because I really do have a busy schedule, and there is no way around that. I finally realized that all I can do from this point forward is to look at my to-do list with excitement, and enjoy the process of completing each task.

Just simply changing my mental position from hatred to acceptance let me breathe easier.

An example for a much more stressful situation:

My car got hit in a parking lot recently and, upon finding it bashed in with no note, I instantly got furious.

But, ultimately, I had to calm myself down and realize that karma would take its course, and that all I could do was file a report and let the police handle it. Instead of putting all the pressure on myself, I surrendered. It made a world of difference.

And here I am now, with a fixed up car, and no money has left my pockets.

3. Leave it

When acceptance is not an option, say maybe you are in an abusive relationship, or you absolutely cannot come to terms with something, get rid of it.

Say goodbye to the toxic person.

Say no to the commitment you made but are dreading.

Delete the emails you still haven't gotten around to looking at.

Stop watching the news.

Get up and walk out of the room.

Like, literally leave.

We don't need more space - space is space, there can't be more or less of it. Space just is, it exists everywhere, naturally. What we do need more of is emptiness. What we need is fewer things taking up space.

Sometimes you just have to be cleared out and reset. Don't dread things, ignore things, avoid things, as this is harmful to your physical, mental and emotional health. Just delete it entirely. Do not let something suck the energy out of you when you have the power to release it.

If you find yourself resenting a situation, picture yourself in a bubble.

Fill this bubble with all people, and events currently going on in your life. Are you feeling claustrophobic? Good.

Now find that situation you dread and erase it. Take a mental pencil eraser to it, blow it away, mentally burn it, imagine it washing away with water - whatever works for you. Do this with your eyes closed.

I guarantee you will instantly feel the relief of empty space, like a literal weight off your shoulders. Now breathe through that empty space, find the next situation that you can't change or no longer accept, and erase that as well.

Now, try to do the same in the physical realm in the best way possible, and know the relief, freedom, and peace that awaits.

I took this to the max and I literally quit my job.

Just the mention of it gave me instant anxiety, and I noticed I was dreading any commitment that came along with it.

To get the full effect of this freedom, I immediately thereafter deleted all emails from said job, as well as the app our co-workers communicated on. What a breath of fresh air. Not only did I get rid of something that drained my energy, I am now free to the possibilities of something better coming along.

Sadly, I have had to apply this rule to people - friends, boys, teachers, acquaintances. I have had to completely sever ties to people in my life recently.

I tried steps one and two, and they just were not working. I could feel these people sucking my happiness. It was tough initially, because I love everyone around me, but now I can feel myself being more open, confident and happy.

It's all about healthy change.

Now that you know these three simple, but life-changing, rules I encourage you to go through this process with everything you face in your daily life.

Never be afraid to ask for more or less, and always do what you feel in your heart.

If anything makes you unhappy just by the thought of it popping up in your head, that is the easiest, most prominent sign of some dysfunction at any level.

You deserve better. You deserve to be happy. And you deserve to be able to free yourself from this negative mental prison you keep yourself locked in.

Peace and blessings, y'all.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Popular Right Now

65 Truths College Students Need to Hear Right Now

Truth every college student needs to hear.

1. The best memories are ones you actually can remember.

2. God isn’t going to ask you if you were in a top-tier sorority or fraternity at the gates.

3. You failed a test, not your life.

4. Numbers don’t define you.

5. That includes the number you see that is your grade.

6. Also, how much you weigh.

7. As well as if you are a “7/10” on a so-called “hot scale.”

8. Or if you can bench press 200 lbs. (@ all the guys at the gym, please chill.)

SEE ALSO: 7 Reminders Every College Student Needs To Hear Before The Semester Ends

9. Innocence is nothing to be ashamed of.

10. Neither are mistakes.

11. But learn from your mistakes. Mistakes can be lessons, which can be the biggest blessing.

12. Your metabolism isn’t what it used to be and that is okay.

13. You may not always understand what God is doing, but I promise He has a plan.

14. Every person you meet is battling their own struggles.

15. Life isn’t always great moments.

16. But you have to walk through the forest to get to the mountain top.

17. Your heart isn’t damaged. It is temporarily broken but it will be fixed.

18. However, the only one who can fix a broken heart is the one who created it.

19. So a cute boy or hot girl can’t put the pieces back together.

20. Neither can ice cream.

21. But ice cream can totally help.

22. Stop texting your ex. He/She is your ex for a reason.

23. Loving Jesus means loving people.

24. Loving Jesus also means loving the image of Him in the mirror you see.

25. Stop hiding your emotions. Stop crying in the bathroom or behind a locked door. You have people in your life who care about you.

26. Suicide is never the answer.

27. Breathe in, breathe out.

28. Do you feel your heart pump? Do you feel the air exiting your body? That is a sign you are here for a purpose. Your life is no mistake.

29. Just because you doubt, doesn’t mean you don’t believe in Jesus.

30. However, when walking on the water scares you, look to Jesus and keep your eyes on Him.

31. If you have the opportunity to go to school go. There are young girls around the world who would do anything to sit at the desk you are complaining about.

32. Don’t pick a career based on money.

33. However, I promise you can use any passion or gift to serve a purpose bigger than yourself if you allow yourself to give it to the One who gave it to you.

34. You don’t need pretty prayers to please God.

35. Talk to Him like you are talking to a friend.

36. Look for the good in everyone.

37. That includes the mean girl who no one likes. Chances are she is mean for a reason. Someone was once mean to her. Kill her with kindness.

38. Pray to have the Lord’s eyes. See people with love.

39. Try to have the Lord’s hands, always be reaching out to others.

40. Each morning, pray to have the Lord’s feet and go where He calls you.

41. It is a bad day, not a bad life.

SEE ALSO: What It's Like To Be A College Student In April

42. You don’t need a six-pack to find a man who loves you.

43. You need a spouse who will be able to look at you when you are 80, and wrinkly and maybe a little chunky, and you need him to love you then. If he loves you for your body and your hair, I promise he doesn’t actually love you. Looks fade, but love is eternal. Find someone who loves you like Jesus.

44. Do some squats.

45. But squat so you feel good about yourself, not to attract the opposite sex.

46. You are never too old to find a new hobby.

47. You were beautiful before someone told you.

48. If you don’t know if you are in relationship or not, leave. You deserve clarity, not insecurity.

49. You deserve friendships that are mutual.

50. The best Friday nights are spent with a puppy and food. It is okay to not always be social.

51. Stop worrying about whether your crush will text you back.

52. Stop over analyzing everything in general.

53. Pray for your future spouse.

54. However, also pray for your future bridesmaids/groomsmen. Some of the most influential people you may have in your life you may not have even met yet.

55. Storms bring strength.

56. And storms bring rainbows if you are patient and observant.

57. Stop Pinteresting your dream life and start living it.

58. The Bible is actually extremely relatable. Open it up. Read it.

59. Romans 8:28 “and we know God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” God is on your team. He wants you to have moments of celebration. He has a purpose for you greater than your bad day.

60. Never forget what Jesus did for you on that cross. When he died for you, it was painful and brutal. It was ugly. It was love. Don’t let that truth ever become numb to you no matter how many times you have heard the story.

61. There is nothing wrong with carbs.

62. Study. And don’t wait for the night before.

63. Find someone who you can look up to.

64. Also, never forget that there is always someone looking up to you. Act like someone you would want your future children to be. Act in a way that reflects wisdom.

65. Smile more, you are loved by the one who hung the stars and painted the sea. He created puppies and carbs–yet still loves you more. That is something to celebrate.

College is tough and life is hard. You are going to have moments where all you want to do is celebrate life with your best friends, but you will also have moments where you just want to lock the door, ignore everyone, and have a good cry. Never forget that your worth comes from something greater than your Biology grade, and from Someone greater that the one who broke your heart.

You aren’t too cool for Christ in college. Christ is a necessity for you in your life. He can hold your hand during your heartbreaks and failures and celebrate with you when you get the text back or a passing grade in foreign language. He loves for you and cares for you more than your sorority or fraternity ever will.

So buy your books, do your homework, but never forget when you are walking to you 8:00 a.m. you regretfully signed up for, to look up. Look at the clouds and the sky and thank your creator that in a big big world with many beautiful things, He still loves our messy hearts even more. So this one is for the boys for the King. This life is for the One who laid down His life.

I promise college is more fun when you dance with your Savior. Follow His lead and let him take you on a journey where you can find your purpose. You may not know where you are going, but you do know who you are following.

So never forget that although classes may be hard, and your metabolism may be slowing down–God is still good. He turns our ashes into beauty and our trials into our testimony. Do life with your creator and I promise you that you will have more than you need.

Romans 8:28 “And we know God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

Check out my website for more articles on self-worth <3

Twitter: gracev96

Instagram: lemmebeyourvalentine

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Getting A Cat Senior Year Of College Saved Me, And It Could Save You

Even if you're not a cat person (which I know most of you aren't), there are valuable lessons to be learned from a furry companion, especially as a senior in college.


In the first week of September during my senior year of college, I already felt like I was bungee jumping with the wrong cords that could snap at any second. No matter what anyone tells you, senior year is no joke. With all of the feelings of stress and anxiety, you would think that putting a new pet into the mix of all of that is the worst idea someone could have. But, really, when do we ever get to make crazy decisions if not senior year of college? So I got a pet, of course. Why not live on the edge?

Let me tell you, finding the animal you want to adopt is a pretty magical moment. I went into that shelter looking for a cat that was at least a few months old and had its bearings on life. I came out with one that was barely nine weeks old (totally not the plan). It was all because when I held him he booped his nose on mine and my heart turned into a puddle on the floor. I knew right then that this would be my cat. His given name was Batman, but we decided to call him something much suaver: Bruce Wayne. He also is a black cat, so I would say the name fits well.

It is important to note that before this cat saved me, it wrecked me. The first week of ownership was one of the biggest growing periods of my young life. I cried every day. The realization that I was now responsible for such a small, fragile being was, to say the least, earth-shaking. But, after that first week of worrying if he would even survive in my care, the dust settled, and I got to explore what it was like to not only care for an animal but to have a new companion to live life with. I watched him explore and learn and play. I saw him grow from a small kitten to a fierce lion-cat (who very much enjoys being like a lion and chasing his "prey" a.k.a., my limbs and extremities). I was able to nurture this small being and see him grow into the cat he is today. It has truly been a gift to be such a vital role in his life. High-key, this experience has given me a glimpse of what motherhood might look like (disclaimer: I know that will be much much harder and I'll cross that bridge when I get there).

Now onto the part about how he saved me. I learned what it is like to care deeply about another being while also being responsible for them. I learned how to balance my social life, spending time with him and making him feel loved. I learned how to tell if he was sick or not. Arguably, the most important thing I learned, was that if you think they have an ear infection, you're probably wrong and you probably don't need the $120 ear drops the vet will give you (look, overreaction to their first sign of illness is a thing and you will definitely experience this). But really, the companionship I experienced from Bruce during senior year boosted my morale and kept me motivated to finish undergrad strong. I don't think I would have made it through my senior year if I hadn't had Bruce there to show me love, support me, and keep me laughing. He became a companion that I would not be able to find in a person. He also wasn't someone I had to talk to. We could just sit, play, and sleep without having to exchange words, but even in this nonverbal relationship, he knew I loved him and I knew he loved me. Having him around made everything much brighter and mean much more.

Would I suggest everyone get a cat senior year of college? The cat-loving part of me wants to scream "Yes!" and meet you at the Humane Society tomorrow, but the logical part of me knows that it isn't for everyone. A pet is a huge responsibility and if you aren't ready for that, then don't step into that part of your life. On the flip side, I also urge you to be open to the possibility of a pet being just what you need. Who knows? Your pet could get you through one of the hardest seasons of your life. They could also be just another thing to love and smile about during one of the best seasons of your life. They're with you through it all! Whether your pet barks, meows, or chirps, you'll learn valuable life lessons and gain a loyal companion.

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