The Counter Irregular Agency stood for all that was normal and decent in the world. Or at least whatever was declared normal and could be taxed accordingly.

The agents of the Counter Irregular Agency (CIA for short) of Average City had no shortage of tiresome tasks.

First and foremost, they were a tax collection agency, and partly due to company policy, partly due to the zealous nature of the agents, they stopped at no cost to resolve overdue bills.

Every day, the agents would go out and harass the citizens until they paid up. This was a long and lengthy process. The regular dodgers simply ran and the newly criminal-ed tried to talk their way out of the problems.

(It never really worked. None of them had mastered the art of persuasion. New criminals rarely planned out the "afterwards.")

Second, they were the finest collection of armchair psychologists in the City. Psychology had become popular in Average City of late and company policy soon grew to reflect that.

The company motto energetically stated that no problem couldn't be solved with a little amateur psychoanalysis. It held that almost all problems were conceived through imbalances in the mental psyche and agents were trained to be well versed in such diagnoses.

As a byproduct, seemingly almost accidentally, this also became the family health plan. Agents were expected to resolve any and all personal mental health issues by themselves.

In a way, the agency was also an unofficial police force.

Lastly, they had to resolve a certain copyright issue regarding a certain other government agency.

(A lingering question about the Counter Irregular Agency was, was it a government-run agency, or a privately held corporation. Most people leaned towards one side or the other.

The real answer was that the CIA was a privately owned company that was paid for by the government. In turn, they solved some of the government's problems.)

Overall the Counter Irregular Agency was a collection of nitpicking, obsessive-compulsive, and overall neurotic, slightly deranged maniacs for justice.

Given the state of Average City, and the mental health of the average individual, this was hardly surprising. On any given day, five or six not-so-common actions (i.e. criminal, but socially acceptable criminal acts) was common for a citizen.

Most of the local politicians and reputable scientists blamed youth culture for the degradation of society.

Agent Ivory Jackson thought that it was the overall atmosphere of the city that drove people crazy.

On the job for just one week, newly promoted Agent Jackson was starting to become concerned about his life.

Though a novice and new to his surroundings, he had already correctly divided his colleagues into two groups. One half were burned-out cynics who meandered about their jobs aimlessly.

The other half were energy-high workaholics that went around decrying the injustices of the world. These were those that still believed in the company slogans.

(The company gave slogans to its staff every day or so. They would go something like this. "Work harder to succeed. Try and success will come. Fulfill your potential. Correct the injustices of the world one step at a time," etc.)

It seemed to Ivory Jackson that he was perhaps the only sane thing in the whole building. Even the offices seemed confused, being half-cubicle and half-desks, simultaneously decrying and enhancing corporate culture.

He was also off to a rough-start with his colleagues. During his first tri-weekly semi-meeting he was asked by the meeting supervisor why he there.

"Money," he said.

The room erupted as half the workers abused his stupidity and lack of idealism while the other half gave him a lackadaisical standing ovation. Then they all left.

Ivory Jackson promised himself that within 3-5 years, he would leave this place to work for a much better place. If he didn't, he would beat himself with a bat until he did. Otherwise he was convinced he would slowly go insane.

He resolved to do the best job that he could, to leave all the quicker.

He went to his immediate superior's office.

"Mr. August, I would like to take the first case I can find, sir," he said.

Mr. August didn't bother looking up.

"New postings are on the company website." Ivory Jackson suddenly remembered that new postings were on the company website.

He logged on to his computer. He went to the website. He saw 50 new assignments ready for him. Then they were gone, snatched up by other agents. He refreshed the page and found 50 new assignments. He rushed to click one but they disappeared just as quickly. In desperation, he went to downtown assignments, home of the worst overall jobs, and jammed his mouse on one.

This was why 3 hours later, Agent Ivory Jackson lay in wait outside a certain Doctor's office. This particular Doctor had neglected to pay his rent for the past five months. Agent Jackson was informed that his job was to make sure this situation was corrected.

If he succeeded, he would advance 1/1000 of the way up the company ladder. If he failed, his entire future prospects were blasted. "So no pressure," he was told.

With this in mind, Ivory Jackson marched up to the door and knocked on it, firmly to illustrate confidence, but quietly to show respect. And then when it didn't open, he pounded on it to show impatience.

The door opened and a young woman stepped out. She managed to look bored and irritated at the same time. Agent Jackson pulled out his badge, then realized that this was obviously not the person he was looking for, and put it back.

"I'm looking for someone called Dr. Life," he said. "He's a doctor. His name is also Doctor. He's supposed to live and work here. Have you seen him?"

She didn't answer. Agent Jackson began to become irritated.

"Have you seen him?"

She gently pushed him backwards and closed the door.

Outside, Ivory Jackson was aghast. His first day in the field and he had already been assaulted.

Inside, Jane looked back at Dr. Life.

"Who was that," he asked.

"I'm not paying you to be distracted," she said.

"You're not paying me. This isn't even an appointment. You just show up and take advantage of free therapy."

"I have to deal with you and your daughter. I think she's obsessed with me."

Dr. Life squirmed ever so slightly.

"What a great sessions we've had today. Come back never."

And with that he exited the room and went outside.

He saw a bemused looking young man on the sidewalk in front of the office.

"Oh you're an agent of the CIA!" he exclaimed. "I always thought that was a great career choice."

Ivory Jackson said "Everyone in this city is crazy. And I think it's going to happen to me too."

Doctor Life almost smiled.

"That's me, kid."

And then he walked away.