The Life Of A Teenage Addict Part 2
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The Life Of A Teenage Addict Part 2

I could feel the two of them mingle any time Molly and I were together.

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The Life Of A Teenage Addict Part 2
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Jane

My next addiction that I found was Jane or it's more like she found me. If Jane were an actual person, she would be the Emo girl everyone sees walking around with pale white skin, hair blacker than night; covered with a beanie and the thick eyeliner they usually wear. Black attire and earbuds in to drown out the rest of the world with music. Jane and I became very close in the late summer of 2010, right after my family and I moved from our hometown of Thomson, Georgia (clear across the country) to Lubbock, Texas. Jane and I made several acquaintances while Molly and I were together. Our college classes only went Monday through Thursday. I would drive back to my house after class on Thursdays, Molly would follow me in her car and I would go home with her to stay the weekend. Most of the time I would tell my parents that we had a class project that we needed to work on and it would be easier to accomplish it if we stayed together at Molly’s house. Molly’s parents were rarely ever home so it was usually just the two of us all weekend.

One particular weekend I met Jane, but only for a brief moment. Molly and I watched Jennifer’s Body and drank vodka from her parent’s liquor cabinet.

“I’ll be right back,” Molly told me as she excused herself to the restroom.

“Okay. I’ll be right her.” I said before taking another sip of my vodka. I had acquired a really good buzz but I wanted to get really drunk, not just buzzed.

After what seemed like forever I wondered what was keeping Molly so long.

“Molly?” I called as I stumbled to the bathroom. “Are you okay?” I slurred as I tapped on the door. She didn’t answer me right away. The door wasn’t completely closed so I pushed it open.

“Molly?” I called again.

Once the door was completely open I saw Molly slumped over on the bathroom floor. She was in a sort of sitting position beside the walk-in shower. In my buzzed state, I sank to my knees beside her. Gripped loosely between two fingers in her right hand was a razor blade, the kind that belongs in a box cutter.

“Molly! What did you do?” I shrieked. My buzz instantly disappeared as I looked upon my friend. The razor blade was stained with blood but I didn’t see a wound.

“I’m ok,” Molly mumbled. A wicked smile spread across her lips as she insisted that she was fine. I helped her to her feet and watched as she cleaned the razor blade. She still wouldn’t show me what she had done to herself.

Later that evening after Lacey was satisfied and put away for the evening Molly and I were working on a class project that was due the following Monday.

“I need to show you something, but before I do you have to promise me that you won’t judge me for it.” Molly was standing at the foot of her bed. She had a shy look on her face like she was embarrassed about something.

“I won’t judge you. I love you like a sister Molly.” I closed my laptop and sat it on the side of the bed. I had been reclining on a mountain of pillows working on our project when Molly came to me. I sat up with my legs crossed Indian style and Molly sat at the end of her bed.

“Okay.” She said as she breathed a heavy sigh. She lifted her shirt above her mid-section. Her lower abdomen was covered in deep cuts. I could tell that they were fresh because the surface of each cut had little beads of dried blood on the surface.

I didn’t know what to say. The sight of all the cuts made me feel nauseous. I wanted to be upset but I knew if I said something hurtful to Molly she wouldn’t trust me again. Instead of saying what I wanted to, all I could think of was, “Do they hurt?”

“They do now but they didn’t when I did it.”

“Then why did you do it?” Curiosity got the better of me. Lacey wanted to know as well.

Molly pulled her shirt down and sighed again. “I’m a self-harmer.” She said that like I would automatically know what it meant.

“Umm, okay, but what does that mean?” I wasn’t going to let this go. Neither was Lacey, she perked up, listening with interest.

“Google it,” Molly insisted.

“Why can’t you just tell me?”

Molly was starting to get flustered. I could tell that she didn’t want to talk about it. I had known her long enough to know that the look she was giving me meant that she wasn’t willing to explain herself. Lacy more so than myself wanted answers and before I could object to her I was begging for Molly to tell me.

“Please, Molly. I’m just curious. Tell me why you do it.” I gave her my puppy dog face that she could never say no to.

“Okay fine. I’ll tell you.” Molly sat up on the bed and proceeded with her explanation.

“My life is so fucked up. My family sucks, all my friends from high school hate me, and it makes me very unhappy. The pain I feel in life from rejection and my unhappiness all builds up until I feel like I’m going to explode. When it gets to that point the blade calls me. It’s like the cravings for pills or cigarettes. The want doesn’t go away until you give in, you know? It’s like a nagging thought inside my head. And then I give in. In that moment during the first cut, when the blade drags across my flesh and I feel that bite of pain, it’s a release. The physical pain is a release of the emotional pain. Does that make sense? It probably sounds stupid.”

“No, it doesn’t sound stupid. It makes perfect sense. Does it hurt for a long time after?”

My curiosity was growing by the second. I could feel Lacey perching in her chair, biting her nails with anticipation. She wanted a new friend.

“You’re not going to judge me like everyone else? Tell me I’m a stupid teenage girl that needs to grow up?” Molly had a look of hope and surprise in her eyes as she waited for me to respond.

“No. You’re like a sister to me Molly. I won’t judge you, I love you.”

Molly slumped on my shoulder and I embraced her. Poor kid was more damaged than I thought she was. We stayed that way for a while until Molly stopped crying.

“Do you want to go see a movie?” I wanted to cheer her up. I was stroking her hair when she looked up at me.

“Yeah. Do you want to see Dear John? It’s still out.”

“Oh yeah, the one with that dude and the Amanda chick from Jennifer’s body?”

Molly nodded her head yes. We started getting ready to go out. Straightening our hair and reapplying makeup that had been smudged. After we looked presentable, Molly crushed more Oxy and we each snorted a line to maintain the already well established high.

The two of us got into her car and headed to the movie theater.

That was the night that I became acquainted with Jane. Over the course of the next couple of months I bumped into her a few more times while Molly and I were hanging out together.

Lacy had her eye on Jane. She wanted to be friends with her and I think that Jane wanted the same thing. I could feel the two of them mingle any time Molly and I were together. It’s like the two of them would astral project from our bodies and hang out together as well. The first time it happened it’s like they shook hands and became best friends. Lacey happily welcomed Jane into our fucked-up life. She seemed to like it there.

The three of us were a family, a dysfunctional family, but we were in it for the long haul.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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