2017 has been one of the craziest years of my life. Besides graduating high school and going off to college — arguably one of the biggest milestones I’ve reached so far — I’ve experienced a lot of changes in my friendships, my belief systems, and my own identity. Each month brought me new challenges and thus new lessons to learn. I’d like to share these lessons — big and small — that I’ve learned through each month of 2017.

January: Don’t give up on yourself. This is a lesson I still have to teach myself over and over--perhaps it’s one of the most valuable. When things get rough, you cannot just throw in the towel and lose faith in your ability to succeed. Everybody f*cks up. Everybody makes choices that are less than savory, but that doesn’t mean that you are doomed. Pick yourself up and keep going.

February: It’s OK to be alone. I don’t just mean spending an afternoon in a bubble bath with a good book. I mean that it’s OK to go through periods in your life where you’re not particularly close to anyone at all. It’s certainly not a healthy place to stay for a long time, but after a breakup or another such loss, sometimes it can be good to pull back and remind yourself that you can be strong on your own. It’s easy to lose yourself in another person, so rebuilding and strengthening your identity before leaping into another deep connection with someone else is important.

March: You don’t have to have a “best” friend. It’s fine if you don’t have that special person you’d call first with some amazing (or terrible) news. Maybe you have many good friends and don’t want to play favorites. Maybe you’ve grown apart from an old best friend and haven’t found someone else yet. It’s totally normal.

April: It’s OK to have more than one best friend! Who says you have to choose? People can appreciate their friends equally but for different reasons. Having a favorite food doesn’t mean you can’t have a favorite color. There doesn’t have to be a ranking system or a stepladder of closeness. Many different people can have a piece of your heart.

May: You don’t have to stay with people who hurt you. You have no obligation to remain in any relationship of any kind with someone who causes you distress. It’s fine to cut someone off for your own health. You’re not selfish; you’re just self-caring.

June: Don’t burn all your bridges. Yes, it’s completely acceptable to remove someone from your life, but make sure you’re doing it for your own good and not to get back at someone. Think twice and take a deep breath before burning a bridge. It’s OK to do so, but please be careful.

July: Love the body you’re in. I was pretty unhappy with my body for a long time. I was always a little bit chubby and never a perfect bikini body, but I started wearing bikinis and crop tops in July 2017, because who cares? I started feeling a lot better about myself once I noticed the things I loved about my figure rather than what I didn’t like. Be kind to the body you were born in--it’s the only one you’ll ever get.

August: You can’t deny the things that stress you out. Packing for college, paying for college, making new friends in college--alright, just college, in general, was freaking me out, and I thought the best way to deal with it was to just not think about anything. It’s impossible to push problems under the rug for too long. You just have to take a deep breath and deal.

September: It takes time to make deep friendships. I came college seeking best friends, and I expected to find them immediately. It doesn’t always work that way. People aren’t always who they seem, and it takes time to sort through who’s loyal and who’s not. Don’t worry, you will find your people eventually. They just might not be who you’re with right now.

October: Actions and words don’t always match. Just because he cuddles you and says he doesn’t ever want to leave doesn’t mean he won’t. Keep your guard up and don’t fall too hard right away. Enough said.

November: More people care than you know. Sometimes it takes a really, really sad time to realize that so many people are out there who want to help. The majority of people really do want to create positive change in the world.

December: The past does not create your future. Just because you were a certain way in high school does not mean that you have to be that way in college. It doesn’t matter who or what you used to be. What matters is how you define yourself now, and what you have planned for your future. Don’t be held back by history.

Well, that’s that. Some of these lessons I will have to learn, again and again, each time on a deeper and fresher level. I’m ready to keep learning. Are you?