The Life Of A Klutz: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

The Life Of A Klutz: A Series Of Unfortunate Events

I've concussed myself after tipping my chair over trying to lean back and catch a pretzel in my mouth.

235
The Life Of A Klutz: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
Izzy Reilly

On Wednesday, March 21st, 2018, I landed myself in the hospital after an unfortunate dislocation of my thumb that resulted from a fall. I had to make a few phone calls to explain the situation to my parents, and naturally, my friends were all curious about the splint that covers my thumb and wrist.

Everyone was curious, but no one was surprised. "This would only happen to you," was said on multiple occasions. I added the injury to my list of embarrassing injury stories and took some ibuprofen.

After a rough night of ice on my wrist (so I look better when I dance) and aggressively squeezing my roommate's hand when they popped the joint back in, I bought myself a pint of ice cream and came up with cool stories for how it happened besides "I fell."

I tried quoting Ratatouille by telling people "I once killed a man with this thumb." My roommate offered to put makeup on her face to make it look like I gave her a black eye. I contemplated using the "this is getting heavy can you hold it for me" pick up line, followed by placing my splinted "club hand" onto a cute boy's hand.

I resorted to the short and sweet story, "I fell" because people know I'm a klutz, and I'm pretty sure they sit around waiting to hear another story.

I've concussed myself after tipping my chair over trying to lean back and catch a pretzel in my mouth.

I've slammed my other thumb in a car door so hard the door shut.

I have a scar on my upper arm because my reflexes failed me taking a hot pan out of the oven. It was so hot it started to burn through the oven mitts and my first reaction was to yank the scalding piece of metal towards me. In case you were wondering, I was making tater tots.

I've opened a door into my face so hard it's knocked me over.

I one time fell into my locker and hit my eye on the knob part of the inside where the lock latches.

When I was very young, I broke my foot jumping off the bed.

Another tiny tot accident of mine occurred when I ran straight off the playground equipment. When asked why I did such a thing, I responded with "I thought there was a slide there."

Sometimes my brain fails to function at a normal speed while my body decides to keep moving and my mouth decides to keep running. I also have some ridiculous quotes and not so bright ideas.

While baking a cake for my sister, I took the directions "Grease the bottom of the pan," quite literally and flipped the pan over to grease it.

I've asked what day of the week Tuesday is and when the Fourth of July falls this year.

Recently, I boasted about my superb memory and followed my less than humble bragging session (we all do it) with "Wait what was I talking about again?"

I could name so many more similar instances, but I'll leave you with some of what little of my dignity remains intact.

My life could be a TV sitcom. I've been dubbed accident prone and unlucky by everyone I know. I thought I could shake the image when I got to college with a clean slate, but my true, black and blue colors eventually shined through.

I'll keep making idiotic statements, accumulating scars that have humiliating backstories, and following directions a bit too literally. But, I've learned to look on the bright side, and I know I'll always have a good story to tell.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

49539
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

31543
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

955163
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

180384
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments