I have recently had the same interaction on a few of my social media posts and decided that maybe it was time to delve a little deeper into this topic. This interaction usually occurs after I make a political post; which I have every right to make and will not, under any circumstances, apologize for.

The simple overview is a family member of mine saying something to the effect of "Oh I'm so sad that you believe this way. I love you so much and I'm praying for you because you should not believe what you believe".

And this phrase is always carefully hidden amongst many layers of historical references and sweet words but at the bottom line, that is exactly what they are saying. And I honestly never know how to respond because here I am: making a post that I vehemently believe in and here someone is inherently invalidating my beliefs and labeling them "unchristian".

According to them, I am not "Christian" enough. When the true fact of the matter is that my beliefs just don't fit that particular person's narrow definition of Christianity. In my world, all of my beliefs line up because I make a conscious effort to ensure that I am living in accordance with my values.

My values and decisions in my life are not sporadic, in-the-heat-of-the-moment snap decisions; they are carefully educated, analyzed, and thoroughly considered. And I do not want anyone but me or my Savior determining my religion or the validity of it. And in the heat of the moment, I admit, that I want nothing more than to tell this person who was so wrongfully judging me all of the reasons why they are wrong and why I am right. But you know what, I didn't.

I didn't not because I'm perfect and give grace to everybody without question because that certainly isn't the case. I didn't because I made the executive decision to walk away. I know this person is so far into their own confirmation bias that they no longer have the capacity to understand why someone would believe differently.

And in cases like this, I have to prioritize my mental health and sanity rather than trying to start an educated discussion with someone who won't even give me the time of day. It is far easier to argue on social media than it is to discuss issues with grace and intellect. I have no interest in wasting my time arguing with people who will never try to understand me. Sure, I love a good discussion, but only when my values are going to be respected and validated.

Not because I need that persons respect or validation but because I will only have genuine conversations when that criteria are present. I'm not going to lie, people might say that I am insecure in my beliefs or that I am uneducated for walking away from a "debate".

At the end of the day, your mental health and well being is so much more important than someone who does not value your opinion not getting the full explanation behind how you can somehow exist as a gay Christian who is pro-choice.

And if no one else will commend you, I will; because choosing compassion over anger is such a hard thing to do; especially when someone is directly attacking and invalidating your core values. So to say the least, interactions like this with people who barely know me, are hard for me to deal with.

So if you, like me, struggle with people, namely family members, constantly belittling your opinion just because it's different, I encourage you to persist. And one of these days, you will be able to walk away from toxic family members. I know because I did and continue to do so.