Being young, I know there are a lot of things I still need to learn.

Right now, I need to learn enough Arabic to pass my quiz tomorrow, short term I need to learn how to balance writing with school, and how to somehow have a social life (Let's be real, one of those is always going to win..and it's up to you to make that decision). Long term, I need to learn how to be a functional adult and how not to be dependent on my parents. There are a lot of steps to that last one, it's a code I have yet to crack. But hopefully, as I approach a month of me being at school I get my shit together enough to get started on that road.

One of the key things, I've realized, to making that transitioning into adulthood is learning how to walk away. The last year of my life, as I'm sure anyone who has been a college freshman can attest to, has been chaotic. The things that defined the last four years of my life, marching band, AP classes, the group of friends I had, are almost non-exist in my life. And that's a hard thing to grasp.

Growing up, I knew I wanted to be in marching band. My school had a rich history of a very successful band program (and no, I'm not talking football bands. Look up DCI, it's not the same thing but it gives you a peek into the world I'm talking about).

When I was in eighth grade and had the chance to join the band, I jumped on it. I grew up on the practice field. The best and worst days of my short life have almost all been spent with the kids and staff who so lovingly molded me into who I am. Sure, like most childhood loves, by the time I was a (a fifth year) senior, I was sick of the routine.

But somehow, after putting on that uniform so so many times, the magic was not lost. Leaving the field after an incredible performance still gave me the same feeling I had when I was four watching the band. And then, I had to walk away.

Another undeniable part of my life was pushing myself academically. And sure, I am doing that now in college. But here, (for the most part) I am choosing HOW I want to push myself, where I wanted to secede. In high school, I didn't just take AP and Honors classes because I was qualified for them, but because it was what my friends did.

This taught me a lesson in itself. Just because you can do something does not mean you should. But overall, these classes became part of my identity. So maybe I wasn't the typical "AP Kid Meme" but I did spend a deal of time trying to fit in. Not only in these classes, but with these kids.

Looking back, I was confused. In reality, a lot of people I considered to be my friends were not. Who ACTUALLY came to my graduation party? Who actually keeps in touch now that I'm on the other side of the state? Honestly, not as many "friends" as I thought I had. And somehow, I am okay with it. Why?

Because, like marching band, I walked away.

My four weeks of college have taught me a lot. Not just about how to handle myself at parties (which, my fellow freshmen is a great skill to learn), but how to embrace the change. I have made better friends in the last four weeks then I did in my four years of high school. I have also spent more time studying, more times laughing and more times finding myself. And this is only four weeks in. So no, I haven't figured out life's secrets (I'm looking at you Arabic) but I have learned something.

Life becomes so much better when you let go of the past, the things that are holding you back, and just walk away.